Quiet time

This is one of my favorite parts of the day. I get hooked up with a monitor to listen to Cubby's heartbeat. The TV is off, its silent in the room except for his presence, his quick little thump thumps filling the room. It's his way of telling me "I'm doing great Mom, don't worry!" I put one hand on my tummy and look at the window at the big world out there that has yet to meet him.

He's been so wild today, kicking and spinning and jumping and doing flips. It felt like 10 babies in there. His heartbeat is so sweet sounding. Like a real little boy who is mischievous and curios about the world, but loving and sweet and wants to cuddle with his Mommy. I wonder what he's thinking in there? Is he excited to meet me and his Daddy? He probably wants to put a face to all his cousins, aunties, uncles, Yia Yia, Bapou, doggies, kitties... Wow! He just kicked so hard that it startled me! I saw my hospital gown move! Yea, he's a little firecracker, just like his Mommy.

Even though this whole short cervix and bed rest thing isn't my favorite, it has given me a different view on him. I feel closer and more connected to him in there. I want to make sure he's ok and not feeling any stress. I picture what he will look like when he's born if he weighs 3lbs or 4lbs. I wonder how I will cope with him being whisked away as soon as he's born instead of being placed on my chest and covered in kisses. I know he's going to be ok. He's already a fighter. He's part of me and part of Rob. Two people that have fought hard for life. There is no doubt in my mind he will be strong willed and determined. I think he'll be book smart and street smart. He'll be funny and make people feel happy. He'll be athletic and powerful. He'll never be to old to give his parents hugs and kisses and say "I love you." He'll be respectful and responsible. He'll push his boundaries and stand up for what he believes in. He'll be a leader, not a follower. Or maybe he won't be any of those things. No matter what, he'll be exactly who he is, and I will love him to the moon and back.