Life is a very strange thing. I thought as I got older, it would make more sense to me. But, as it turns out, it just gets more and more complex and challenging. Obviously it's because when I was younger, life was so much easier. But I remember at the time, it seems like the things that I was faced with were just so awful and difficult and I would never recover from. Being grounded, getting my heart broken, math tests. They seemed like the world greatest disaster but really they were really just a blip on the map.
Lanie says "I miss my old problems" and that is such a true statement. I remember looking forward to being an adult so things would be easier in life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Dealing with adult shit is so much more frustrating and painful. Don't get me wrong, there are definite perks such as no curfew, drinking, smoking, Las Vegas etc. But there are some things that are just plain tough, like divorce, worrying about the real estate market, being able to afford a mortgage or rent, getting the car fixed, paying taxes, working hard just to get by....the list goes on.
I suppose it balances itself out. There are ups and downs of being a grown up, and if you're happy in your life, the sucky things don't seem quite as bad. I can't wait to get there again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally unhappy right now. But being away from the man I love is difficult. Especially at 5 months pregnant. It's no one's fault except the damn economy (I hate you economy!) When I'm with him, I'm truly happy. And I'm happy when I'm with my family and friends (I don't know what I would do without you Lanie.) But I am just looking forward to waking up every day and not have a hundred stressful things on my mind. I want to feel happy and content and not in limbo, unsure of what the future holds. I'm trying my best to be patient. I just hope it comes soon.