Bunny Love

We are a family of 6. Daddy, Mommy, Dominic, Sophie, Cuddles and Bunny. Dom got Bunny (or Baba, which is what he called him) as a gift from one of my sisters friends, Kandice. We thought it was cute and put it on his shelf, not thinking too much about it. When we started trying to get Dom to sleep through the night, I gave him Bunny to comfort him. I had slept with it the night before so he had my sent on it, hoping that would help. After that, Dom always slept with him, tucked under his chin with one of the ears in his mouth. Come morning, Bunny would soon be forgotten about and we’d go about our day.

Over the past couple of months, I have noticed that Dom is really attached to him, more than ever. And he now calls him by his name, Bunny. When he sits on my lap as I read him a bedtime story, Bunny is right there too, one ear in his mouth. When it’s time to get up in the morning, Bunny stays firmly planted in Dom’s hand as I lift him out of his crib. Changing his diaper, brushing his teeth, getting dressed…Bunny is a part of it all. Even breakfast time. Dom runs down the hallway, clutching Bunny in his little hands and sits him on his lap when he’s in the high chair. He shares his sippy cup and sometimes his cereal with him. They read books together, watch Yo Gabba Gabba, sing in the car and the new thing is when Dom says “Mama!” and I turn around to look and Bunny is dancing along to the music. Dom giggles with excitement.

Needless to say, Bunny gets washed. A lot. A little dip in the washing machine paired with an air dry and he’s good as new. Now, the ears…well….I’m afraid those will never be the same again. They have been sucked and chewed on over a year and are permanently discolored. I have even tried scrubbing them with a toothbrush and soap, but no go.

What would happen if we lost bunny? I don’t even want to think about it. I have scoured the internet looking for a backup Bunny, but haven’t found one. I think it’s pretty cute to see him so drag him all over the house and always wanting him to be right there. I wonder how long Dom will be so attached to him? When the day comes that he doesn’t need Bunny anymore, I will wash him one last time, put him in an acrylic display box and hang him on Dominic’s bedroom wall. And one day, I will tell him about all the adventures he had with his first best friend.

A glimmer of hope!

Guess what?? I stepped on the scale this morning and my weight was DOWN! Yes, finally!!! Oh man, please don’t let the scale be broken, because I need this. I was so happy to see a lower number that I decided to celebrate with a cute outfit. I got this H&M top on eBay last year for $5.00 and it turned out to be a form fitting sweater instead of a loose, baggy one that I had anticipated. So it went into my closet and while pretty to look at, it has never been worn. Well, today was the day to say “yea I’m chubby, but I’m working on it so back off!” Do I have some rolls showing? Yes. Do I look a little on the wide side? Well, the stripes aren’t helping. But you know what? I feel pretty good in this outfit. I’m not hiding behind a baggy shirt. I’m putting it out there and I am trying to be proud of my body. It’s a work in progress and I’m doing my best to be ok with that.

It's Simple

Sometimes the easiest things are actually the hardest.

Shady

Dom has a little obsession with sunglasses. He loves all kinds and always rocks every single pair. He asks me “Mama, glass?” so I hand a pair over and he happily slips them on his head and grins from ear to ear. Man, my kid is so cool:)

Weight War

The scale has not been kind to me. It’s beyond frustrating when I’ve been watching what I eat, working out three times a week, and the only place my weight goes is up. And up. And up.

I stopped doing Weight Watchers about a month ago because I just needed a break. I was burnt out on counting points, food journaling and not being able to eat whatever I wanted. The day I started my “hiatus” I felt like I had just gotten out of prison. I could eat whatever I wanted and I wasn’t going to get weighed! Waahooo! Let’s go crazy! That box of Tim Tam cookies? Yes, I can eat them all if I want! Cookie and Cream ice-cream? Sure, why not?! McDonalds, Del Taco and In n Out? Let’s do it. That lasted about 2 two weeks before I knew I had to stop. I got it out of my system and enjoyed every second. But I couldn’t let all my hard work of losing weight go out the window. Plus, I was beginning to feel sluggish and my skin broke out. I felt a little out of control. I didn’t go back to weight watchers, but I decided to take it into my own hands. I have done WW enough that I know what to eat and what not to eat. Rob joined us up at a gym and we committed to going twice a week, which we do. I also take the jazzercise class with Lanie on Thursday nights. I’m not counting points, but I am eating cautiously and not going crazy every day.

For the past 3-4 weeks, it has crept up on the scale and I can’t understand why. I even took TWO pregnancy tests because I couldn’t understand how I was gaining so much weight so fast. I thought for sure I was “with child.” My stomach looks like I’m about 5 months along…but seeing as both tests came out negative and there is no baby, I just look bloated and fat. Ugh. This is a huge knock to my self-confidence. I was doing so well and now I feel like I screwed it all up. But I haven’t been eating out of control. Is it because I’m not doing Weight Watchers? No, because I’m eating the same way AND I’m working out, which means I should be losing weight, not gaining it. I don’t know why my stomach has expanded so much; I just know that I don’t like it. I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes right now. I just want to cover up and wear baggy shirts. This is extremely frustrating as I worked so hard to NOT feel that way. I lost 20lbs and was happy wearing anything in my closet. Now I look in there and just want to grab the same flannel shirt every day.

I will just keep moving forward and keep working out. Hopefully I will see some progress on the scale soon, before I become totally discouraged and say eff it.

Family Photo

How did I get this lucky?

2 Faces

Dom has two new faces and they both crack me up. The one above is his winky face. He does such a good wink, seriously. Most kids at this age would close both eyes but Dom has mastered the wink perfectly. He keeps one eye open, squints the other one and gives a litte smirk. It's so rad!

This is his cheese face. When I'm going to take his photo, he'll say "cheeeeeeshe" and ham it up for the camera. His little tongue tends to stick out because he has a lisp (which hello, so cute!) Check out the gusto! His little personality is just shining through and I love it!

Mommy Perks

I saw this on a website when I was pregnant with Dom and it made me so excited to have him in my arms (like i wasnt already!)

Now that my baby is almost two years old, I re read this and it still make me so excited to hold him in my arms.

Having a baby changes a mom's life, but the bundle of joy also alters the way she looks at the world and lives each day. Here are some of the purest perks that come with being a mother.

1. You see everything for the first time again through the child's eyes — even ants are amazing.

2. A single gummy smile can save even the biggest wreck of a day.

3. When the infant fusses, your mere presence calms him.

4. If you rest your child on your chest, your hearts beat in unison.

5. When he laughs, he shakes, drools, and almost keels over, but it's the most adorable thing you've ever seen. So you make him do it again and again.

6. You think about the future in bigger and brighter ways. You picture him heading off to kindergarten and graduating from high school.

7. You anticipate and even dream of little things like a cutting tooth, a single step, or a two syllable utterance: "mama."

8. You forget about things you used to care so much about, because they actually don't matter at all.

9. You finally understand what "a mother's instinct" means.

10. Your will to live intensifies because you don't want to miss a moment of your child's spectacular life.

Taking it like a champ

It’s only been a couple of days, but Dom is doing great with getting back to his old schedule. He hasn’t (knock on wood) woken up in the middle of the night asking for milk since Sunday night and has been sleeping straight through to 7:00am. It’s been good for him and for me. We have both enjoyed getting caught up on some much needed sleep. Hopefully it continues this way:)

Clean up connoisseur

Rob and I have been enforcing the “pick up your toys” rule all last week and weekend, and Dom is totally into it. The first time, as I mentioned before, he wasn’t too happy and it took about 20 mins to get him to actually do it. The next night it took about 10 minutes and then after that he doesn’t have to be told over and over again. We just tell him “ok Baby, time to clean up before bath time” and he starts putting his blocks in the tub, books back on the shelf and his little stuff into his busy boxes. It’s amazing! Rob and I help him clean up so it’s a team effort and it has made the whole thing so much easier. Way to go Dom!

Cry. Cry. No milk. Cry. Sleep.

Detox

Dom woke up in the middle of the night wanting milk, and I had to tell him no. Crying ensued. More crying. Some screaming. Me comforting him and telling him I love him. More crying. Crying. Then quiet….sleep

Milk Pusher

I don’t know how it happened, but I think I got Dom back into a habit that took us a lot of time to break. Getting a bottle in the middle of the night. He of course doesn’t drink a bottle anymore, but he has been waking up either in the middle of the night or at 5:30am asking for “waa waa” which is milk. Uh oh.

I didn’t meant to do it, I swear. When we was on formula, we got to a place where he’d have his bottle after dinner, but when it was bed time, no go. He could have some water, but no milk. Then it took him a while to get used to whole milk. He went weeks with just having a little bit here and there. I made sure he got his needed calcium by making sure he eat cheese, cereal with milk etc. Then one day, he suddenly decided he couldn’t get enough of it. Because he went so long without it, I was over the moon that he had his thirst for it back. So I didn’t discourage him drinking, even when he wanted it during story time before he went to bed. He would drink two sippy cups full while sitting on my lap, no problem. Thus began the “drinking milk right before bed” routine again.

But wait, it gets worse. Dom finally broke through one of his molars, and the others are starting to come in too. He had a rough couple of weeks of having a cold, teething and just feeling not well. When he’d wake up in the middle of the night and cry for “waa waa” I gave it to him because I wanted to comfort him. Hell, if having Mommy jump up and down like a pogo stick would have brought him comfort, I would have slapped on a bra and gone at it. But luckily got me, he just wanted his milk.

And now here we are 3 weeks later, and he is still waking up in the middle of the night about 2-3 times a week asking for it. Shoot. Why did I do this? It wasn’t on purpose. I was just trying to comfort my baby, which was the short term goal. But I didn’t think about the long term in the moment, and now I am faced with having to go through the process of re-learning Dom’s behavior to not expect milk in the middle of the night. This involves a lot of crying and heart break. And Dom’s not going to be too happy about it either.

Morning Shuffle

I can’t believe it, but Doms 2nd birthday is only 4 months away. Every day he is testing his boundaries more and more, and I see his little defiant streak peeking out. As much as I love that he is experiencing his independence right now, it can be totally exhausting and stressful. The mornings are usually a whirlwind of chaos that leaves me ready for a nap before I’ve even left the house.

Most week days, Rob is up at 4:00am to get ready for his first job that he drives to Torrance for. Yes, I said 4:00am. And yes, I said his first job. Let me share with you the awesomeness that is my boyfriend for a second. Not only does he get up at 4am, drive to Torrance, work his ass off for about 4-5 hours while most of us are still sleeping, but then he leaves there, drives to Irvine and begins his day all over again at his second job. There he works just as hard, hanging from ceilings, pulling cable, walking 15 miles in one day before driving home to us at about 5pm. Yes, that’s a 13 hour work day. And he comes home in a good mood. No bitching or complaining. Happy to see me and Dom. See, I told you he was awesome.

But getting back to my chaotic mornings. It’s a challenge to get everything done in the morning when Dom is so adventurous. He’s too old and big to be put in his pack and play (that now permanently resides at my parents house) so after I have got him dressed and fed him breakfast (while feeding Sophie and taking her to go potty) Dom has to come with me to so I can get ready for work. This used to be easier about 3 weeks ago. But in that short amount of time, he no longer quietly sits on the bed watching TV or reading his book. Now he squirms off the bed so that he can go through the dresser drawers or rummage through my closet and pull stuff off the hangers. He wants to explore the cabinet underneath the sink or play with Daddy’s laptop. I can’t even get through brushing my teeth without saying “Dom, no” or “Dominic, stop right now.” It gets me stressed out because I’m trying to get ready for work and trying to keep Dom to sit still all at the same time. I’ve got Sophie barking in the kitchen, Cuddles licking the plastic wipes package and Dom trying his very best to get into anything and everything that he can. By the time we’re walking out the door, I sometimes feel overwhelmed. I don’t know how single Moms do it. I take my hat off, because it’s a lot of work.

Did I mention that I’m super tired because Dom woke up at 4:30am on yesterday and decided he didn’t want to go back to sleep, so that’s when our day started. And then last night, when he should have been exhausted because he didn’t take a nap all day (and, you know, he was up at 4:30am) he still woke up at 2:30am wanting milk. I gave him some and put him back in his crib where he just cried on and off for 45 mins before I gave in and brought him into bed with me. I feel like I haven’t had any consistent sleep in months and I think it’s catching up to me.

But you know what? It’s all worth it. There isn’t one part of me that wishes these weren’t my problems. I love that these are my problems. Because it means that I have an awesome boyfriend, son, dog and cat and losing a little shut eye is a small price to pay for the place I call home.

How To Tell If He’s A Keeper

1. He’s willing to put you first.
When a man is truly committed to you, and your relationship is heading for the long term, he will make you an integral part of his life, as well as his top priority. A keeper will continually affirm that he loves you and is devoted to your relationship, both verbally and through his actions.

2. He’s there for you in a crisis.
A keeper will be by your side when the going gets tough. By showing he supports you in a time of real need, his actions assure you he’ll be there to hold your hand during the birth of your child, the deaths of your parents and any other high-stress or grief-ridden situations that you’re sure to face.

3. He appreciates your quirks.
A good man will fall in love with you because he cherishes your gifts and is willing to overlook your flaws. But a keeper will even find your quirkier qualities-religious reading of your and his horoscopes or habit of eating peanut butter straight from the jar with the spoon- not just tolerable but endearing.

4. He shows how much he cares.
The most important element of any relationship is how the man you’re choosing to spend your time with treats you. We’re not necessarily talking about bestowing upon you bouquets of red roses (though that’s always nice) but by showing you he cares about your well being too: things like checking your tires because he thinks they look a little low or sending you an email to wish you luck on your presentation at work.

5. He’s kind.
Since we were kids, we’ve been told that actions speak louder than words. This is never truer than in how your man conducts himself toward you and others. A keeper is an all-around nice person. He’s respectful to his parents (and yours,) polite to waiters and waitresses and gentle towards animals. And he acts kindly even when he thinks no one else is looking-a true sign of good character.

6. He’s consistent.
Along the same lines as the previous sign, a keeper is reliable- a man who you can truly depend on. While all people change throughout the courses of our lives, a man you’d want to have around for the long-term isn’t wishy-washy. His word should be stronger than oak, as the phrase goes, and his loving conduct toward you should be just as steady.

7. He wants to build a life with you.
When one person in a relationship wants to get married and the other doesn’t, you have a fundamental difference on your hands that needs to be addressed. A keeper, therefore, shares similar life goals as you do, and he’ll readily work with you to make sure his plans and your plans for the future can mesh.

8. He can handle your emotions.
We think it’s safe to say that women have a track record of expressing our feelings more than our male counterpart. And said men need to know how to deal with our doing so in order to be considered our long term partners. A keeper will never attack you for being overly emotional by accusing you of being “just like your mother” or, our personal favorite, “crazy.”

9. He fights fair.
How a man handles conflict shows as much about his character as how he acts during the good times. A keeper will express his feelings, ask for what he wants and can receive constructive criticism-without screaming, whining or pouting. He will also be capable of listening to what’s on your mind without interjecting to correct or blame you.

10. He’s a grown up.
On the road from child to adult, some guys stall out three quarters of the way, never becoming self-sufficient. An immature man who refuses to adjust to the norms and values of society doesn’t see youth as a stage but rather a refuge from responsibility. A keeper, on the other hand, is not just competent but confidant in successfully managing his own life.

Clean Up Time

It seems that overnight my baby has become a full on boy. Right now he’s totally into cars, trucks, dinosaurs, running, jumping, climbing and basically giving me a heart attack every 10 minutes. He loves to use his “Cars” chair as a step stool to climb onto the couch and then look out the window. He also loves to take a running leap to his chair and see where he lands. He thinks it’s hilarious. I’m not as amused. The kid has no fear right now, which I kind of love and totally admire. He’ll be sitting in his armchair and throw his legs up, twisting his whole body so he’s turned upside down with his head hanging off the seat.

He’s still completely into music. We have to listen to his Gabba cd every single time we’re in the car. It’s funny because he’s so particular about which song he wants to listen to. He’ll make a funny little noise to signal me that he wants me to move to the next song. We continue that process until he hears a song he likes and then will proceed to rock out in his car seat. He especially loves the song “wiggle wiggle wiggle …hold still” because Rob and I will wiggle and wiggle and then hold still. If we don’t do it, he’ll say “Mama! Dadda!” and then will get into it and he’ll crack up.

Along with all these adorable traits, he’s also become rather stubborn and head strong. Well, ok, he’s always been that way. But now we’re at the stage where he understands what I’m asking him to do, and he straight out defy me. I’ll ask him to pick up his toys and he refuses. The other night he did something where Rob and I sternly told him “no Dominic, we don’t do that” and he got so mad that he stomped over to his bookcase and tried to push all his books off the shelf. Hmm, ok, well this is new territory. We’re going to have to work with him on that. I know he’s still young and is exploring his boundaries, and that’s ok, we encourage that. But I don’t want my son to be a brat who doesn’t listen. Rob and I both agreed it was time to explain to Dom that there are certain things that are non-negotiable.

Last night was our first big obstacle. Picking up his toys. Like I mentioned, right now he loves to dump out his busy boxes, his blocks and most of his toys all over the floor. And we’re happy to let him do that, he’s a toddler learning and experiencing new things. But it usually ends with met taking him for a bath and pajama time while Daddy picks up the toys.

Last night when it was bath time, I turned off the TV and told Dom we have put his toys away first. I started to pick up some toys but he kept on playing. I told him again, “Dom, come on, please help Mama” but instead he turned his back and acted really interested in the wall. Ok, here we go.

On the advice of Nonnie, I picked Dom up, sat him down on the floor among all his toys and told him “Dom, you need to sit here until you’re ready to pick up your toys.” I wondered how that would go over as time out for a 20 month old is tricky. He understands but has a short attention span, so if he sits there too long, he might forget what he’s supposed to do. Also, there is a very good chance he’ll just get up when I sit him down. There is nothing holding him there.

Luckily, Dom is a good listener. He sat on the floor and just kind of looked at me. After about a minute he got up and started to play with his toys. I asked him to put his toys away but he ignored me, so I picked him back up, sat him back down and told him again “Dom, you need to sit here until you’re ready to pick up your toys.” At this point, he was getting upset. He laid down on the floor and started this guttural growl of disapproval while pulling his hair, his fingers, his hands, his jeans…he was expressing his frustration, and even though he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t screaming or throwing a tantrum. I was pretty impressed. After about 3 minutes I asked if he was ready to pick up his toys. He said yes but started taking more toys out. I repeated the process of putting him back on the floor and he once again was frustrated and growled to let me know. Rob and I sat on the couch in silence and let Dom be mad. This went back and forth for about 20 minutes until I asked Dom again if he was ready to pick up his toys. He sat up and said “yea” and started putting them away! Whaaa?! It worked!

It was a pretty awesome feeling to see that our persistence and first real shot at discipline worked. When all the toys were picked up, we had a group hug and we told Dom how proud of him we are. I know, I know, it sounds awfully “Brady Bunch” or “Parenting Magazine” but I really did feel proud of him for listening to what we were asking of him. It was a big step for him and for us.

My Heart

The best thing that has ever happened to me.

Momma Cub

One of the most amazing things about being a Mom is having the power to comfort your child just by holding him close. I remember a thousand times that my Mom has done that for me. Even now as an adult, somehow she can make it all better. All it takes is to have her arms wrapped around me and I feel her love and soothing. I’m actually getting teary eyed right now just thinking about it. There is no way I would have made it through all the tough moments in my life without my Mom. Everything from scraped knees, broken hearts, bad hair days, my car accident, my divorce, my pregnancy…she has always been there for me. Sometimes no words are necessary.

Now that I’m a Mom, I am starting to have the same experiences, of course on a much more basic level. If Dom is cranky, hungry, falls down etc. he comes running for me. I’ll swoop him up into my arms and make it all better. But last night, I really felt that moment of “wow, I was able to comfort him just by being his Mama.”

He woke up at 9:30pm with a scream. That gave way to rumblings, crying and shuffling around in his crib. I let him try and sort it out on his own for about 10 minutes, but he just couldn’t self soothe enough to go back to sleep. When I went in there and picked him up, his head instantly went onto my shoulder and his little paws clung to my arms. Usually when I take him out of his crib he stops crying instantly but this time he kept going. I rocked him, bounced him, asked him what was wrong but nothing was working. Little tears kept rolling down his face and his poor nose was dripping. I think he’s been teething again (another molar perhaps?) so maybe that’s what woke him up. After having some milk in his sippy cup, a diaper change and some cuddles on the rocking chair, I put him back in his crib and hoped he’d be able to get back to sleep. If I brought him into our bed he’d just think it was play time and then would suddenly be wide awake wanting to watch Gabba.

After listening to him cry for another 15 minutes, I knew he just wasn’t feeling well. I plucked him out of his bed and climbed into ours. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled the comforter around us. Right away he snuggled up to me, bunny clutched firmly in his arms, and slowly stopped crying. He nuzzled his little head underneath mine and let out a sigh. He was asleep in under 2 minutes. I lay there in the dark with my baby boy and felt proud and important and special. Even though he was crying and inconsolable a second ago, just having his Mama close made it all better. No medicine, no magic words, nothing specific. Just me. That’s an incredible feeling and I’m so lucky to experience it.

My whole life, my Mom has always been able to make it all better for me, and it always felt so amazing to feel that. It wasn’t until last night that I realized how good it feels for my Mom too.

Dom needs to know

Dom asks me the same two questions every night before he’ll let me walk out of his room after putting him to bed.

1). Where’s Dada?
2). Where’s Woof Woof?

Only then will he settle in and say nah night. And I think it’s the cutest thing ever.

I'm really a Mom

When I look at this photo, I’m kind of taken aback. I look like a Mom. I mean, I know I’m a Mom, but to see it from outside eyes is pretty cool. It makes me smile to see us together in a private moment captured by the camera (thanks Tina!)

We were a petting zoo with Tina and Ethan and I was asking him if he wanted to go on the choo choo train. Despite his expression, he was excited. I think his dire need for a nap was taking over at this moment.

Even though I live every single day as a Mom, it still sometimes amazes me that I have a child. There was a time where I thought that just wasn’t in the cards for me, no matter how hard I tried and how many types of medicine I took. I finally stopped all the meds and decided that it must not be my time. Some changes in my life took place and then BAM, preggers. I was completely stunned but knew that this was the plan that was laid out of me.

Having Dominic has completely changed my life in every way possible. There isn’t a second in the day that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have him as my son. Every single day he makes me laugh out loud and is very pleased at himself for doing it. I can’t even fathom what my life would be like if he hadn’t come along. I think I would convince myself that I was ok with not being able to not conceive, that I was fulfilled without a need for a child. But I think in my heart of hearts, I would mourn for the connection that a mother and child share. I would have known what I was missing out on something so special that it can’t be duplicated in any other way.

Dominic is my miracle baby. Not only did he come at a time when I thought I couldn’t conceive, but I almost lost him a couple of months later. Despite me losing a ton of blood, my baby held onto that umbilical cord for dear life and made it through stronger and more determined than ever.

My kid is special. He’s going to do something great with this life. No matter what that may be, he’ll put his whole heart into it and give it all he’s got. Because he’s part of me. And part of Rob. He was created in love. Born into love. And will live the rest of his life with love.

My morning post to Lanie’s Facebook page

“So I heard the new Britney this morning and I thought of us doing those brutal chaises with the hold stop…. and I realized I love that exercise even though my calf’s hate me. Also, I have beers rolling around in my trunk and it’s making me thirsty. Lastly, as Rob pointed out, you are totally hardcore for having a rager the night before your open house. You are my hero.”

Dom's Current Obsessions

Little Critter Books

iPhones and iPads

Yo Gabba Gabba (still)

Dora the Explorer

Jack Black

Dinosaurs

Boss

My little brother is one of the coolest people I know. He’s funny, smart, compassionate, sweet, respectful and always has a smile on his face. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t keep calling him my little brother (even though he is) because he’s 25 years old. But to me, he’ll always be my baby bro.

He used to call me “Mama” when he was a baby and I’d take so much pride in taking care of him. When he was a baby, his room was opposite mine. I went to bed, I’d go in there and scoop him out of his crib and bring him into bed with me. I loved snuggling up with him. As he got older and moved into a big boy bed, he’d get up in the middle of the night and come into my room. In the morning I’d wake up and he’d be sleeping on the floor next to my bed, covered with his little dinosaur towel as a blanket. Can you imagine how cute that was? Trust me, it was freakin the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

Now that we’re both adults, I still love him with all my heart. When I take my one night off a month from being a Mom, we usually hang out. He’s always so much fun to be around and instantly makes any situation a fun one.

He’s always been there for me, even though he’s younger than me. When I got divorced, he was the one who went with me to court. When I found out I was pregnant, he was the first person I told. And instead of freaking out, he said “That’s so awesome!” and gave me a big hug. I know I can tell him anything and there will be zero judgment. That's a pretty increduble feeling.

Through some of the darkest moments in my life, I’d stare at a post it note he gave me that says “You = Best. Everything will be ok. I love you.” No matter how gutted, distraught, heartbroken and full of despair and sadness I was feeling at the time, it would always make me feel better. It’s still taped on my desk at work and is now faded, grungy and worn. But little post it note got me to the other side and it’s something I will always treasure.

I feel lucky to have a little brother like Marcus, especially because he’s one of my best friends. He's one of the awesome people I know, and that's why Rob and I used his name for Dominic's middle name. If Dom turns out half as great at Boss, the world will be a better place and I will know we did something right.