This has been a tough month for me physically.  I have had a cough since the end of October and it has slowly gotten worse and worse.  I have felt ok for the most part, just a little "off."  Worn out, run down, yea..my body has been fighting getting sick. 

I usually work out 4 days a week: Tuesday and Saturday at the gym and Monday, Wednesday, Thursday at home on the treadmill.  But because I have been not feeling great, I had cut that down to 2 days a week, just going to the gym. And because of my 5K on Saturday, i didn't work out at all this week to make sure i'm well rested.  I feel like a lazy bum.

Man oh man, I can't believe how it's effected me.  Physically, I feel bloated, tired, unfit.  Mentally, it's especially messed with me.  Because I'm not working out as much, I have gotten kind of lazy on what I'm eating.  I haven't been as good as I usually am, and I've noticed that my pants are tighter.  Ugh, that is the worst feeling ever.  It makes me so mad and so frustrated, you just have no idea.  I was feeling SO good about myself, and now I'm back to feeling uncomfortable and ashamed that I slipped.

I'm now on week three of hacking my lungs out and I think it I may have turned a corner.  Once I have completed the 5K on Saturday, I can go back to working out 4 days a week.  Once I get back to my regular routine, I am hoping the better eating goes along with it and the extra pounds will go away. I can't let all my hard work go in the trash like it usually does.  I refuse to give up and gain all the weight back.  It's what I do every single time.  This time HAS to be different.

No Time For Candyland

This morning Dom was begging me to play "Candy Land" with him but I needed to get ready for work and make his lunch still.  When I told him we'll play after school he said "but Mom, I wanna play now and I have no one else to play with!"  Wow, pull at those heart strings why don't you?  It's moments like this I wonder if I was selfish in not wanting any more kids and denying Dom a sibling.  But then I remember how valuable sleeping is and know I did the right thing.

He was still whining "Mom.  Mom. Mama.  Mommy. Pulllleeaase play with me!"  "No Dom, I'm sorry baby, I can't right now.  Why don't you play ask Cuddles if she wants to play?"  He thought about it for a second and decided it was a good plan.  But then having second thoughts he said "no Mommy, because if I play with Cuddles she'll scratch the cards up."  Pretty smart kid.

Picture Show

Rob and I have been waiting for Dominic to get to the right age so we can take  him to a movie.  He’s does pretty good at home, but his attention span is sometimes all over the place.  We’ll start a movie and about 10 minutes in to it, he’ll want to watch a different one, and then a different one and a different one.  But now that he’s three, we figured he might be ready.

Today was the day we decided to give it a shot. The chosen movie was Madagascar 3 and it was playing at the $2 theater in Huntington Beach.  We figured this way, if he didn’t last through the whole thing, we wouldn’t be wasting a ton of money.  Can you believe how expensive movies are these days?  I think a matinee is almost $8!  I remember when it was a few bucks.  Dang.  What’s with the inflation?

When Dom got up from his nap, we told him where we were going.  He was so excited and couldn’t wait to get there.  I packed us all some snacks but of course we had to get movie popcorn.  Dom sat through the whole movie, munching away, and did so good.  He got a little antsy here and there, a few hundred potty breaks, but he made it.  I was so proud of him and it was really fun to experience that as a family.

August Birthday's Dinner

Because all four of us kids are all born in August, it makes celebrating our birthdays a bit of a juggling act.  Not to mention, with all the added family over the years, it’s gotten to be astronomically expensive.  Forget trying to go out to dinner.  Just our immediate family is 15 people.

 

The solution we came up with is to have a big birthday dinner once a year at Stellagio to celebrate all four birthdays in one night.  Mom makes something delicious to eat, Dad has plenty of alcohol on hand and we always have a great time.

I always get excited when we have a big family get together.  I don’t get to hang out with Lexi as much as I’d like too, so I look forward to seeing her and having some good laughs.  We always have tons of photos from these birthday dinner because, well, we’re all photo whoresJ

This year was a bit challenging finding a date that worked for everyone, so it didn’t actually happen until last night!  Yes, the August birthdays dinner was actually in September.    Can you believe that?  But what is important to me, and I think the other kids, is that we keep this tradition alive.  It’s important to us and we always make it work.

Because it was still extremely warm outside, Mom and Dad set up the tables outside.  Mom made her famous spaghetti and it was delicious!  After we had dinner, cake, presents and some good hang time, some of us headed out to Garf’s for a night cap.

I’m so thankful to have family that I truly love and enjoy their company.  I know it’s going to be a good night when we’re all together!

Sophia Plus One

I can’t believe my baby cousin is having a child.  Babies having babies.  Well, ok, I guess she’s not technically a baby. She’s 27  years old.  She’s an adult.  But I have a hard time seeing her as that.  To me, she’ll always be my baby cousins stomping around the house with her tiny feet in her mom’s heels.

I don’t get to see her much because she’s off saving the world, but now that she’s about to pop, she’s back in the U.S.  Today Dom and I went to her baby shower and it was such a surreal moment to see her with a big belly. 

Ahhh, she’s going to be a mommy!  She’s having a boy, Charley, and I know she’ll be great at it.  She has a natural nurturing side to her that is so special.  She looks so beautiful and happy!

Sandy City

I know what I’m about to tell is shocking….but Dom has never been to the beach.  I know, I know…you can’t believe it, right?  We live in Southern California.  We are surrounded by sand and water.  I think it’s because Rob and I aren’t huge “beach” people. Which is weird because I love the ocean.  There is nothing that takes my breath away every single time than that first peek of the crashing waves.  But for whatever reason, we just haven’t done a beach trip.

Well, today, all that changed.  We decided to go down to my parent’s private beach and have some fun.  Lex and Looch met us there and my Mom also went, bringing along Nick and Max.  As soon as Dom locked eyes with the sand, it was on. He was off and running.  Looch was already in the water with his surf board and Dom wanted in.  Rob helped him get used to the temperature of the water, slowly easing him in.  once he was acclimated, he wanted to surf.  Looch helped him climb up and showed him how to lie down.  Dom loved it.  He didn’t want to stop.  “Go faster Uncle Looch!”

We made sand castles, has snacks, played on the jungle gym, sat on the swings..it was a wonderful afternoon.  I love how something so simple like that can be such a fantastic memory.  The boys loved it and I have a feeling we’ll need to go again before this heat goes away.

Happy Birthday To Me

Yesterday was my birthday, and I turned the ripe old age of 37 years old.  I don’t feel 37.  What is 37 supposed to feel like anyway?  I remember thinking  when I was a little kid, about 8 or 9 years old, that someone in their 30’s was old.  My Mom was in her 30’s at the time, and even though she didn’t look old or act old, she was my MOM.  That meant she was old.  Now it’s my turn. I’m 37, and let be honest with each other, that’s practically 40.  My Mom was 23 when she had me.  I was 34 when I had Dom.  That’s almost 10 years difference.  So Dom will probably think I’m practically ancient when he’s old enough to understand that stuff.

The weird thing is, I know my age is going up every year, but I honestly don’t feel like I’m getting older.  Is that denial that is so often talked about?  Is it because I still experience things at this age that I thought people in this age group had all figure out.  Things like weight issues.  Heartache.  Acne.  Maybe it’s because I’m young at heart and that stops me from living old?  Whatever it is, I’m ok with it.  37 doesn’t scare me.  I’m cool with it.  

I have a lot to be thankful for on my birthday.  Family that loves me.  Friends that stand by me.   A job that pays, even if it is part time.  A good man in my life.   I am very lucky to have a good life.  Yes there are ups and downs, but everyone has that.  The things that I struggle with are things that are making me who I am.  Not anything to complain about.  The best thing in my life?  My beautiful son.  Dominic is the best gift every year.  His smiling face and hilarious personality reminds me that no matter what happens in my life, I got one thing right.

Church It Up

I don’t go to church very often.  I know I should, but I honestly just don’t think about it and suddenly, 3 or 6 months have gone by.  I still feel sort of bitter about them blackballing me.  I won’t ever forget the pain and heartache of not being allowed to be Lexi’s goumera at her wedding.  And I’m still not allowed to take communion.  Father Steven said that because Rob and I live together but are not married, we are living in sin.  It makes me so angry.  We are raising our beautiful son together in a healthy and loving environment.  We pay our rent.  We pay our taxes.  Just because there is a piece of paper missing between us, I’m deemed a sinner? 

Ok, ok, let’s not get off topic here.  Sorry, this subject always gets me a little testy.  The point I was trying to make is that I don’t go to church a whole lot, but I do enjoy going once in a while.  Rob has to work some overtime that morning, so I suggested to Mum that we go.  Lexi, Courtney, Nick and Max joined us too.  Dom is getting easier to have in that type of environment.  He sits still a little longer and is better at getting too antsy.  After communion, the boys went to the play room while we sat through the remainder of the service. 

Then came my favorite part.  Lunch.  Rob was able to wrap things up at work and join us, so that made me pretty happy.  I love going out to lunch with my family.  Is it sad that this was my favorite part of the experience?

House Party

Boss and I decided to have a joint birthday party this year. We figured we’d invite a few friends, grill a few burgers, have some fun. Well, that idea morphed itself into a ragin party with tons of food and drinks and people and good times. I cooked for two days to prepare all the appetizers and desserts, slaving away at new creations for our party guests. Almost everyone that we invited came, so the backyard was wall to wall of people and everyone was living it up. The music was loud and drinks were strong. We raged until about 3am and it was well worth the three days it took me to clean up the house. Happy birthday to us!

 

Happy Birthday Lexi

Yesterday was Lexi’s birthday.  I can’t believe my baby sister is 31.  I’m pretty sure I’M 31, but she’s 6 years younger than me, so that would make her 25.  It’s amazing how someone goes from being a little kid to suddenly being an adult.  How does that happen?  It’s very sneaky, it just kind of creeps up on you.

To celebrate, she had a bbq at Stellagio.  She invited her friends and my parents made such a killer spread of food.  The BBQ was spinning all night and the dining room table was covered in mouthwatering treats. 

Lanie and Todd were also invited and it was cool to share the evening with them too.  As per usual, the music was blaring and dancing ensued.  I love seeing Lexi so happy and in the moment.  She is such an amazing woman and I am truly so lucky to have her in my life.  There isn’t a more beautiful person, inside and out.  Happy birthday beautiful sister!

Play Ball

Yesterday was such a super fun day.  Rob got a great deal on Angels tickets so a bunch of us went to the game.   Dom stayed with D and Court, and he was so excited to hang out with his cousins.

 

Taryn came to the house and picked up Rob and I, then we drove to Matt’s work to meet up with him.  He lives across the street from the stadium , so we didn’t have to pay for parking.  We walked over to Hooters where Steve and Martha joined us for food and beer.  We wanted to pre load before the game, those stadium beers are insanely expensive.  

 

After about an hour or two, we walked over to the stadium where we met up with Marcus.  By this time, I will admit that we were all feeling pretty good.  Countless pitchers of beer had been consumed and the summer day will just amplifying our moods.  It was one of those perfect times when everything is good.  Half way through the game, Megs arrived and our party was now all there.  I don’t really know what happened in the game, I was having too much fun buying $10 beers and blowing off steam from the week. 

After the game ended (Angels won!) we all headed to Pierce Street.  Even after all these years, it’s still a great place to hang out.  They have a patio, music, sports and it’s a dive.  My kinda place.  We partied it up there until about midnight and then hightailed back to Rob and my place.  We were all having so much fun, we didn’t want the night to end.

 

Birthday BBQ

Last night we celebrated my Dad’s birthday and Marina’s arrival with a bbq at Stellagio.  It had been about 5 years since I had seen Marina and Jordon and I was especially looking forward to hugging her after surviving breast cancer.  She looks great and Jordon has grown up so much.  We sang happy birthday to my Dad and we everyone had a great time as always.  Hanging out with my family is one of my favorite ways to spend the evening.  How lucky am I?

Run G Run

I have been working on getting better at running.  It’s tough for me because I am not athletic in the least bit.  These past 6 months are the most I have worked out ever.  And stayed consistent.   When we go to the gym every Tuesday and Saturday, I run as well as walk on the treadmill.   It usually goes like this.  Walk for 2 mins, run for 5, walk for 30 seconds, run for 5 and I do that until I hit 1.5 miles. I have been getting better at it and am finally comfortable with it.  Some days I can run a mile straight without stopping, but most days I take quick breaks in between.   I am super proud of myself for getting this far with my fitness.  Running has always been something I thought was outside of my comfort zone, but now I’m actually really enjoying it.

Since I finally got the treadmill down, I thought it was time to challenge myself again.  Try running on concrete.  This thought was a terrifying one to me.  Treadmill running, ok, anyone can do that if they try.  But concrete running…that was for, like, real athletes.  I can’t fake my way on this one.  There is no moving conveyer belt helping me along.  It would be me.  All me.

I asked Rob, my running coach, if he would help me with it.  He’s my go to guy and always helps me get out of my own head when it comes to fitness.  He’ll make me feel like I can do it, so I’m lucky to have him supporting me. He said he’d take me out, just let him know when I’m ready.  The only problem with that is, I’m a procrastinator and can find any reason in the world not to do something.  So of course a few weeks went by of me thinking “maybe today’s the day” and then finding something more important to do, like re-organizing the Tupperware cupboard. 

Lucky for me, Rob knows me all too well.  And he knows he’s got to “jump me in” to get me going.  So today he called me up and said he’d be getting off work early and did I want to give it a shot.  I k new I just had to dive in, so I said ok.  I was nervous, unsure of what to expect, but I knew I had to just go for it.

Now that I have done it, I can say that it was a lot harder than running on a treadmill.  It took a lot more power to keep going, but I didn’t hate it.  We ran 2 miles in 24 mins, so I’m happy with that.  I don’t know how long it will be before I get myself on concrete again, but I’m glad I experienced it and conquered my fear.

 

Big Boy Bed

I knew this day would come.  Some have urged me to make it happen sooner.  But I wasn’t ready.  I mean, DOM wasn’t ready.  But alas, I feel the time has come.  Time for …a big boy bed.  I can hardly even get the words out.  I can’t believe we’re even talking about this. 

He has done so well in his crib.  Even though he could get out if he wanted to, he doesn’t.  He feels safe and secure in there, protected by the high walls.  But now that he’s officially 3 years old, it’s time to move to the next level.

I honestly have been dreading this day.   I have heard about and seen the nightmare it can be for parents.  The kid doesn’t stay in bed, the keep getting out of bed, running down the halls, refusing to lay down, kicking and screaming, not wanting to go to sleep….next thing you know it’s 10pm and it’s a hostage standoff.  I really didn’t want to go through that.  Not just for me, but for Dom too.  So needless to say, I was nervous.

I suggested to Rob that he convert his crib into the toddler bed in the morning so Dom could take his afternoon nap in it.  Hopefully that would be a smoother transition.  How would Dom react to it?  Would he hate it?  Love it?  When it was time to show him, I held my breath.  He walked into his room, looked at the bed and had a puzzled look on his face.  Then he asked why Daddy broke his crib?  Hahaa, he was a little puzzled.  The bed had a rail across one part to help him from not falling out, but he kept pointing to where the rails were and asking Rob “Daddy, what did you do?  You broke my crib?” 

About half a second later, he couldn’t care less if Daddy had broken it.  He realized he could get onto the bed by himself and that’s all it took.  He jumped up, rolled around in the covers and immediately proceeded to go head first off the bed.  He stood up, not fased in the slightest and climbed back on the bed.  I grabbed him a book and he happily read his book with Bun Bun by his side.

When it came time for nap time, I took him in there and excitedly told him “yay! You get to sleep in your big boy bed today!”  He seemed pretty stoked too, so I quickly kissed him, laid him down and said “ok baby, see you after your nap.”  Bam, that was it.  He passed out almost instantly. 

Almost two hours later, I heard a little voice on the baby monitor.  “Mama.  Maaamaaa…”  I opened his bedroom door and he has stayed in his bed the whole time.  Woo hooo! Would he do this well at bedtime?  Well, the answer is yes!  He went to bed with no problems and loved being in his big boy bed.  I hope he keeps doing this well, he is totally make me proud right now!

 

Independence Day

I love traditions.  Lanie and I talk a lot about that and we make a real effort to keep some going through out the years.  One of them is 4^th of July.  The afternoon is always spent at her parents house where they bbq, play games and of course light fireworks.  Usually we leave before the light show because Dom has always been so young.  But this year, we decided to stay and let him experience it for the first time.

The day is always so fun.  There is the egg toss, water balloon toss, UNO tournament and lets not forget trash can punch.  Along with Lanie’s family, friends are also there.  Tina, Jorge and Ethan as well as Rayline and Maddie.  It’s been so cool to watch Dom grown up with this tradition, and see how different he is every year.  I have photos of him and Maddie from the beginning where Dom was just learning how to walk, and would mostly fall over and army crawl to Maddie.  Now they chase each other all over the yard and have the best time hanging out. 

Watching Dom experience fire works for the first time was so awesome.  He wasn’t scared, he was just amazed.  We put headphones on him so it wouldn’t be too loud, and he looked like a little rock star.  Every time one shot into the air, he’d stare in awe and beg for more. 

This is the beautiful thing about tradition.  Not only is it something to look forward to every year, but it’s also an eye opener of milestones for you and your loved ones.  Seeing the changes from one year to the next is something that is so special, and to get to do that with people I love, that’s even better.

Happy Birthday Dominic!

Happy birthday to my sweet baby Dominic! I can’t believe my baby is 3, it’s kind of insane.  How did this even happen?  Wasn’t I pregnant like 5 weeks ago? 

Since his birthday fell on a weekday, I took him to the grocery store this morning to get cupcakes for his class. He picked out 12 with cars and 12 with owls.  Of course we had to get a banana for him to eat while we shopped.

All his friends at school wished him a Happy Birthday and of course they jumped at the chance to get a photo with him.  Smile everyone! 

After school, we took him to his favorite restaurant…Soup Plantation!  Josh, Teasha, Rayline, Steve, Martha and the kids joined us for this birthday dinner.  He always has a good time when we go there, but it was even better this time because he got presents:)

I love my baby so much, he really is changing more and more as the weeks go by.  No longer a little infant, not even a toddler.  He just seems like a kid now, all grown up and doing his thing.  I’m so lucky to be his Mom, it’s the best gift I have ever had in my life!

 

Dom's Spidey Birthday Party

Today was Dom’s 3^rd birthday party!  The theme was Spiderman (his choice) and everything went so well.  I felt like we were much more organized this year.  I also felt a lot less stressed.  Maybe I’m just finally getting the hang of it. 

I pre made most of the food the night before.  I made tie dye (red and blue) Spiderman cupcakes along with a bunch of other appetizers and snacks like fresh veggies and dips.  It definitely helped to have it done the day before because then I wasn’t rushing around like a mad woman.

My parents got him an awesome gift.  Spiderman himself came to the party and played games with the kids, like hide and go seek.  He also did face painting, which I thought he was totally terrible at.  Truth be told, he wasn’t very good.  But the kids, especially Dom, loved it, so I can’t complain too much.

Of course we had the traditional piñata which is always fun.  When it finally got cracked open, my Mum basically trampled several small children to scoop up the candy and toys for herself.  You gotta love her. 

Matt came and had a good time.  He had emailed Rob prior, so I guess they worked out whatever they needed too.  It honestly felt so natural for him to be there and hanging out with us again. 

Dom had an awesome time playing on the playground.  He wasn’t a big fan of the sand in his shoes but he was having so much fun, it didn’t bother him too much. 

We had a great turn out, about 40 people.  Family, friends and kids that all came to celebrate Dominic turning three.  It was really nice to look around the park and see how much love we have surrounding us.

 

 

 

This was my favorite birthday party so far.  I think maybe because now that Dom is a bit older, I don’t have to be watching him like a hawk, or be holding him the whole time.  He was happy to scamper off to the swings or the slide and run around with his cousins and friends.  And that’s really nice thing about having it at Shiffer Park every year.  The playground is right next to the shelter so he gets a little freedom, but I can still see him at all times.  The best of both worlds.

 

 I’m so happy that he had a good time at his party and everyone else did too.

Revisting the Past

It’s amazing how much things can change in a few years.  It’s true what they say, time does heal.  It’s been 3 ½ years since Matt and I were in a room together.  Towards the end of our separation, things were obviously not great.  He was extremely mad and hurt that Rob and I were together, and that I was pregnant.  And hey, I don’t blame him one bit.  It got pretty heated between the two of us and I just came to terms that he and I would never be friends again.  More than that, we probably wouldn’t be in the same room together again.  I often wondered what would happen if I ran into him on the street.  Would he say hi? Would he punch me in the face and walk away?  Who knows. 

Back in January, Matt sent me an email, reaching out to say hi.  Over the past 6 months we have emailed here and there, talking a lot about what happened in our relationship, the reasons it didn’t work out etc.  We probably communicated more clearly to each other than we did the whole time we were married.  Sometimes we would email every week.  Sometimes, a month would go by with nothing.  But it all brought us to this point.

Last night, we met for drinks.  This was going to be the big test for us.  Can we be in the same room and be ok.  Not get emotional.  Find a way back to our friendship.  I knew that I would be ok with it, but I didn’t know about Matt.  But it was his idea to meet up, so I went with it. 

We met at Acapulco and to be honest, I was a little nervous right before I walked in. But as soon as I saw him and we hugged, all that went away.  We literally sat and talked for almost two hours before I realized I was late to meet Lanie for dinner.  Needless to say, it went well.  We picked up right where we left off and it was actually really nice to see him and catch up.  He’s been my friend since I was 13 years old, so not having in my life has had an impact on me.

I invited him to Dominic’s party as I knew my family would be there and they’d love to see him.  He said he’s going, so that should be fun.  I wonder how he will feel being in that type of situation.  It won’t just be me.  It will be me, and Rob and our child.  But if he says he’s ready, I have to believe him.

Fathers Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day and a great excuse for us all to get together.  The original plan was to have a bbq at the Dover Shores private beach, but someone beat us to it.  So the party got moved to Dimitri and Courts house instead.  Rob had gone to Phoenix the day before and was due to return at 3pm.  Dom and I picked him up at John Wayne and headed over there. 

 It was such a nice day to hang outside, eat some food, enjoy the sunshine.  The kids had a ball playing with water balloons and trying to get everyone wet.  Dominic is totally obsessed with the swings and was happy to have someone push him for hours.  Eventually, Dimitri showed him how to pump his legs back and forth and then there was no stopping him.

I decided to start a friendly game of soccer and it turned out to be so much fun.  It was such a mellow, easy going day and everyone had fun.  I feel very lucky to have the Daddy that I do.  He is so loving, caring and smart and I couldn’t love him any more than I do.  And Dom is very lucky to have Rob as his Dad too.  He’s always so good about teaching him things, playing with him outside, showing him how much he loves him.  Yep, we are all very lucky!