Cabin Fever

It occurred to me today that I haven't felt fresh air in a few days. I was watching Jillian on Fox news this morning talking about the weather and I realized have no concept of its hot or cold, windy or dry. I sit here all day and stare out the window but feel no breeze, no chill, no sun. I have to not think about it because sometimes I have this overwhelming urge to chuck a chair through the glass just to feel something. Hmm..maybe I should keep that kind of information to myself...I don't want to be moved to a mental institution.

It's day three of operation bed rest. I'm thankful that I'm at Hoag. The nurses here are awesome, especially Wendy. I got to take a shower today, that was pretty exciting:) I'm really still trying to get a grip on this whole thing. I know for most it doesn't seem like it would be that big of a deal, laying around all day long doing nothing. But for me, it's torture. I'm a do-er. I like to get out there and get things done. I like to be social, I like to run errands, go get a manicure, go to the grocery store, go out to eat etc. I want to do laundry, cook, clean my house. I want to take my dogs to the beach with Rob, I want to go see my nephews, I want to go to Fashion Island and look at the puppies. It's a difficult adjustment to be one way and then forced to be the complete opposite.

One of the toughest things for me has been the evenings. It hit me last night that I will spend at least the next two weeks in this hospital bed alone, without Rob. My favorite thing ever is to fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him, and I can't have that right now. We have gone though so much to get to that point, and it seemed I only got to enjoy it for a split second before it was gone. Ok, ok, I know I'm whining right now, but this is my blog so get over it. I try and be strong but the tears come regardless. I let a few fall before sucking it up and shaking it off. I'll just blame it on the hormones.

I wonder how Jenna Jameson passed the time? She was here are Hoag for two months on bed rest. I bet she wasn't being a big ole baby like I am.