Big Day

Happy 30 weeks to me and the Cub! We made it! Yay! I got my cervix re-measured today and it's good news. Everything is still the same. Whooo hooo! I'm so relieved! The official numbers are cervix is still at .9 cm and I'm still 1cm dilated. Of course I wish it would have come back at 2.9, but yea, I guess that's a little unrealistic.

I know I have to be on mandatory bed rest until the baby is born, but I'm hoping I can do the rest of my sentence at home. I probably won't see my Dr. until tomorrow morning, and I plan on pleading my case to her. Chances are, she's not going to budge and make me stay in the hospital. Yea, she's kind of a stickler but I'll give it a shot.

I also got to see Cubby in a quick ultrasound. He looks so big and happy and just kickin' back. He's probably about 3lbs by now and his heart looks fantastic. It might just be because I'm his Mom, but I swear...he is such a cute kid! He's got these cheeks and a gleam in his eye....I'm so excited to be his Mom and to have him join Rob and I at home to complete our happy little family. I know it's going to be lots of hard work and many sleepless nights, but I'm excited to experience it all. I'm so thankful for a partner like Rob who I know is going to do such a great job at being his Daddy.

Next stop, 31 weeks!!!

Two for One

For my Skillet:

I'm here every step of the way.

You are not alone.
xo

Tomorrow

So tomorrow is the big day. It's "cervix measuring day." I'm really trying not to think about it too much, but in the back of my mind, I'm worried. What if it got smaller? It's too soon for him to come into the world. I know the Cub would be ok if he was born now, but he'll have to be in NICU until July, stuck with tubes and sleeping in an incubator. I don't want that for him.

In a way, it doesn't really matter what the outcome is. If my cervix has gotten smaller then .9, it means Cubby is on his way sooner then later and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. If I'm still at a .9, then he will stay in the womb longer and have more of a chance to grow strong and big. Either way, it is what it is. I'm trying to stay positive and hoping that my cervix will hang in there and give me until June. I'd be happy with June.

My big challenge is staying sane. It's been two weeks in the hospital now and although I am staying positive, I'd much rather be home. I can't stomach the food here much longer. I miss my animals. I miss sleeping next to Rob. I miss cable. To be honest, I'm really really ready for the whole bed rest thing to be over. Before it was just a mental obstacle that I had to overcome. Trying to stay focused and not be a sad sack feeling sorry for myself because I'm cooped up in the same room day in and day out. But now it's becoming physical also. My sides hurt from having to sleep on them. I can't sleep on my back because it cuts off circulation. My sides feel bruised and it's it getting tougher and tougher to find a comfortable position to sleep. My joints are starting to ache from being in a bed for three weeks straight. I try to do small exercises and stretches but it's not enough. I can't imagine having to do this for another month. But that's the funny part. I hope with all my might that I get to because it means a better chance of less complications for the baby.

So where does that leave me? It's a lot to ask, but I'm hoping there is a way we can compromise. Perhaps I can at least get released to finish bed rest at home, and that the Cub stays in there as long as possible.

In the meantime, I'm doing the best I can. Rob makes this whole experience much more bearable with his daily visits. He always seems to bring happiness and hope with him and it recharges my batteries every time. Lanie is awesome and brings me Ruby's and a ton of stimulating conversation. My Mom stops by every day with fresh fruit, her knitting and an update on what's happening in the outside world. Lexi brings her sunshine, flowers, magazines, candy and can always make me laugh so hard. Marcus and Megs always bring the most amazing flowers and tales of their fun and crazy adventures. Courtney brings my adorable nephews and her positive energy. Everyone that comes to visit brings something with them that helps in some small way. I'm so lucky to have all these people in my life and they all make a difference. The Cub is so blessed to be able to call these people his family because they will teach him so much. I can't wait for him to meet them all.....actually, I can wait...until at least June....

A Courtney-ism

My awesome and sassy sister Courtney came up with a new word today that I have to share with you. Chicks that dress skanky have a "whoredrobe!" Let's use it in a sentence shall we? "Crystal's whoredrobe is making us all look bad, what a skank!" Make sure you put it into rotation and get the new word out there!

clean hands

I'm definitly not a germ-a-phobe, but I think I want to put one of these in the cubs room at home. The price is great and better to be safe then sorry.

Same old

There is no new news to report. Cub is doing good, no contractions, still kicking away. I think they are going to measure my cervix on Thursday so that is kind of what I am holding my breath for. Thursday is a big day for me but I'm trying to pretend it's not. Just keep your fingers crossed I'm still at a .9cm and haven't gotten any smaller. I have been a model patient staying in bed, only getting up to pee and shower. I have kept my circulation socks on. I've tried to be in a laying position more then a sitting position, taking the pressure off my cervix. Hopefully it has all paid off.

Cubby is one active little guy, I can hardly believe how much and for how long he kicks me. It's a pretty amazing thing to experience. He's a real cheeky monkey too. When I put Lexi or Rob's hand to my belly to feel his soccer skills, he'll stop. I can just picture him freezing, trying to keep from laughing out loud, proud of himself that he made me look like a liar lol. Yea, pretty much just like his Mom. Tell him to do something and he'll do the opposite. My Mom said having kids was all about pay back and I think she may be right.

Tonight baby is totally fired up. He has been rockin and rollin in there for about three hours straight. He's been really low down all day, which makes it pretty uncomfortable to sit up, get off the bed, move etc. I started feeling a bit out of breath today which is pretty crazy since I'm not doing anything. But then I remember, oh yea there is a baby in my tummy. He lives in there and he's hanging out, doing his thing, banging up against my organs, stretching out, making room for himself. The kicks have been so incredibly strong tonight that they were almost a bit painful. Rob was finally able to feel really hard ones, the kind that can move your hand when its on my tummy.

The only thing cooler then feeling the baby move around is being able to share it with Rob. I'm excited and thankful and blessed to be taking this journey with him. I love and respect him so much and can already see what a totally kick ass Daddy he's going to be to our baby. I look at him and sometimes just can't believe how far we've come in such a short time and that I never doubted us for a second. I look at him and he makes my heart beat faster and instantly puts a smile on my face. It's crazy to lie together, feeling our baby kick and think..we did this...we made this.....he's part of us....

As much as I love feeling Cub kick, the downside is with him being so active is that I get tired a lot faster which makes getting my work done a bit more difficult. But he seems to be developing a pattern so I know for the most part when he will do his heavy kicking and when he naps. I think he's a creature of habit too. He is always on the same side when the nurse checks his heartbeat every day. He's always nestled way down on the left side of my tummy. I point to the spot, the nurse squeezes on the cold jelly and sticks the monitor where my finger is....instantly the room is filled with the sweet sound of his little heartbeat, always between 140-150. He's a good boy, staying healthy and safe.

I have been craving something and I have no idea what it is. Sometimes I think it's ice cream from Rite Aid, Double scoop of mint chip and butter pecan. Or is it rocky road and cookies and cream? Sometimes I think its mud pie from Baskin Robbins. I don't know why I can't put my finger on it but it's frustrating to not be able to just get in my car and try out all the options.

I never meant for this blog to turn into "Gina's day to day life on hospital bed rest." It must be so horribly boring to read about. I guess it's just that this is my world right now so I don't really have much else to share. I wish I could be blogging about the great dinner I made or how much fun Rob and I had when we went to fill-in-the-blank, or how nice it was to go get a manicure. Those entries will come again, but I'm afraid for right now, it's all about getting my blood pressure and temperature taken twice a day and how I'm having no contractions. Wowm, how much life can change in 7 months is crazy. But I have to say, I'm a happy girl. I have a family that is the best ever in the whole world, I have friends that have shown that they are truly the real deal and I have a man who I absolutely love and adore and who makes me so happy in every single way. Oh, and did I mention my son that is almost ready to come into the world and take it by storm? Yea, life is a lot more constricted these days, but it's still pretty awesome.

About Face

It's amazing how a facial can change your mood. My Mom and Sister came to see me today and brought lunch with them (mmhm Panera.) Just as we were finishing lunch, they had a surprise for me. They had brought in someone to give me a facial and wax my eyebrows. I had already kind of butchered my eyebrows but she was able to salvage some kind of shape. The facial was awesome, totally relaxing and soothing. I had been dying to get one because my skin has totally freaked out on me. I think it's mostly because of the hormones, but I'm sure the constant hospital air instead of sun or a natural breeze doesn't help. I thought you're supposed to have gorgeous glowing skin when you're pregnant? I certainly didn't get blessed with that, but I did get blessed with an amazing Mom and Sister who knew just what I needed on a day where I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Today

Some days are tougher then others.

Happy 29 weeks to us!

Yay! We made it to 29 weeks! With the week of lock down at home and the week and half here, I've got almost three weeks of bed rest under my belt! That's almost three weeks of keeping the Cub safe and sound inside his mud hut and him getting more time to grow big and strong.

I feel like I gained 20 lbs overnight. Last night he was really really low and every kick felt like he was kicking down the wall to get out. It was difficult to sit up or change positions in my bed. It was the first time that I felt super super super pregnant. The good news is that means, hopefully, that he's getting bigger and fatter and taller and stronger.

Monday is weigh day around here and when I got on the scale four days ago I was at 12 1/2 lbs gained. It will be interesting to see what I'm at next Monday. Not that before the bed rest I was out running or anything, but at least before I was walking around getting some kind of exercise. My trips to Target, cruising the isles, could probably have added up to a couple of miles each time. But since I have been on bed rest for almost three weeks with absolutely no form or exercise, I'm hoping I won't balloon up. So far, so good.

Rob brought me some clothes from home this morning (have I mentioned how awesome he is?) and I can't tell you how much better it feels to be in my own threads instead of the oversize itchy hospital gowns. Then my Mom came by with some goodies from Target! Just seeing the bag and pulling the clothes out one by one made me happy! She hooked me up with some really comfy and cute pj's and a couple of soft t-shirts. Is it sad that it totally perked me up and made me happy? I have to admit, I miss shopping. Not that I was even shopping so much any more, but at least going to the supermarket and buying groceries was enjoyable for me. Does that make me weird?

Happy Friday to all you guys. I hope you have big plans to go out and have a drink, or go out to dinner. To my family-have fun celebrating Courtney's birthday tonight! I will be there in spirit for sure:) Cubby and I are going to chill here and celebrate our 29 week victory with Hoag Hospitals version of filet mignon and a little 20/20 on the boob tube. Not too shabby if you ask me:)

Lock Down

This whole hospital bed rest thing is tough. I'm doing ok, hanging in there, but I have to be honest. this is so much tougher then you would ever imagine. I look out the window and life is just going on without me. My days are all same, my view is the same, my restlessness is the same. I'm itching to bust out of here, but know I have to stay put. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I live here now, as much as I'd rather be at the Jungle House. This is my home from the time being. My only salvation thus far has been that I get to go home at the 30 weeks mark. Yes, I'll still be on bed rest, but I'll be in my own home. I'll get to sleep next to Rob. I'll have cable. The more I thought about it, the more I was feeling better about the whole thing. It was a couple weeks out of my life and while frustrating, not the end of the world.

My ObGyn, who had been on vacation this whole time, finally came to see me on Monday and asked how I was doing. I told her I was fine, no contractions, no bleeding, no swelling, no cramping, no nothing, just an incompetent cervix. She told me that's good and to keep it up. I said "and I will get to go home at 30 weeks, right?" This is the part where my world came crashing down. (Yea, dramatic I know but hear me out.) She told me that she will probably keep me here. I said, "um ok, until when?" She said "probably until you have the baby." I couldn't believe it. How could this be? I'm not due until July! And it's only April! I mean, I know my chances of going to term are pretty much none, but still. My two weeks sentence has just been extended indefinitely.

Now more then ever I need to stay focused and positive. Friday will be my 29 week mark. My first goal is to reach 30 weeks safely, so I'm well on my way. My cervix will be remeasured next week and I'm praying that it has stayed at .9cm and not gotten any smaller. The best case scenario is that it got bigger, but I guess that doesn't really happen.

Thank goodness I have wonderful friends and family to keep me sane. They have all helped so much and I'm so grateful. Rob has been so great and without a doubt has gotten me to this point. He always makes me feel so calm and focused and hopeful, not to mention happy, overjoyed and completely smitten:) I'm definitely blessed in a big way and thank my lucky stars.

.

Just kickin' it

Here is what Babycenter.com has to say about what the cub is up to while kickin it in Mama's belly during this 28 week milestone: "By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of his head to his heels. He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. With his eyesight developing, he may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. He's also developing billions of neurons in his brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world."

Cubby is super dooper active. He loves to kick all morning and all evening long. Sometimes I can actually see my gown move. You can see how big some of the kicks are on my contraction monitor. I wear this 24 hours a day in case I start contracting in which case the nurses will be notified immediately. 99% of the time the print out looks like this:
See how the lines are flat for the most part, not a whole lot of activity? Well when he kicks me especially hard, it looks like this:

Yea, check out those spikes! I'm telling you, he's got some leg power. I think we have a future goalie in there, just like his Daddy.

Good job baby, stay inside and keep growing healthy and big.
Each day is a triumph and a blessing.

Randoms

I heard that we're having a heat wave outside. I love it when people say, oh your lucky to be inside! Um, yea, ok. It looks like a beautiful day outside my window. My room is nice and chilly, just the way I like it. My Mom is coming for lunch today and bringing me Eazy Take Out Burger..mmmhm....one of my favs. I'm watching the Bonnie Hunt show right now. What, you didn't know she had her own daytime talk show? Yea, me either, but her and I are becoming fast friends as there's not much else on tv at this time. I'm dying to take of my circulation socks, they are starting to dig into my skin and I feel slightly suffocated. It's Monday today, right? Hope everyone stays cool and has a good start to their week!

Puppy Love

There are just no words for how cute this puppy is.

"A Chihuahua puppy born in Japan with a natural heart shaped pattern on his coat has captured the hearts of animal lovers around the world.

Heart-kun, as he has been named by owner Emiko Sakurada, was born on May 18, 2007, one of a litter of puppies at the Pucchin Dogs shop.

His natural heart-shaped markings on his fur have made him an instant star in Japan. And it was a case of puppy love across the world as the tiny dog made television appearances worldwide.

Shop owner Ms Sakurada got the surprise of her life when she saw the birthmark heart markings in the fur of her tiny pooch. She said it was the first time a puppy with these marks had been born out of the 1,000 animals that she has bred."

I can't get over how sweet this little guy is!

A new day

So yesterday was a bit of a rough day, but I'm leaving it behind and moving forward. I'm going to try my best to think positive, stay busy and focus on keeping this little rug rat healthy and inside. I know it could be so much worse and I really have no room to complain. I am so thankful for my many blessings in life and thankful to have such a wonderful life. I guess sometimes it just gets to be too much and because I don't have any other outlet such as taking a walk, working out,changing my scenery, shopping, having a drink...or 5.....it gets to me a bit. But, thanks to my wonderful and amazing boyfriend, I'm re-focused, re-energized and feeling good. The power of love is an amazing thing.

rant

Not happy right now. I want out. Sick of being in the same room all day every day. Sick of looking at the same stupid picture of boats. Sick of not feeling a breeze. Sick of not being able to help out. I want to be home pricing my crap for the garage sale that Rob has to have by himself. I want to be at Church tonight celebrating Greek Orthodox Easter. I want to drive my car. I want to make dinner. I want to go out to dinner. I want to eat dinner anywhere but in this mechanical bed off a plastic tray. I want to put on pants. I want to play with my dogs. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to the man I love. I want to go to a movie and eat popcorn from the tub. I want to give my Dad a big hug and watch a movie on lifetime with him and Lexi and my Mom. I want to go out with Lanie and feel optimistic. I want to run errands with Rob and laugh my ass off. Yes, I know it's a lot of wants, and I'm being a spoiled baby right now. I don't care. I'm frustrated and sad and trapped and stuck. I want the tears to stop but they won't. But I have to protect the cub. That's my job. So here we go. Day five....

Drained

Today I had to retake the glucose test. They woke me at 6am and pricked my thumb to get some blood. I don't want to sound like a wimp, but it stung! Then I had to drink the orange Fanta drink again. I figured that was all, but no, there was more. First of all, this version of the drink was double the yuckiness. It was so sugary that really made me want to throw up. I couldn't eat anything for three hours, and I had to keep it down for three hours too. It was a struggle, but I made it.

Then they surprised me with the fun news that I was going to have three blood tests, one every hour. They drew blood from the top of each hand and then my arm. Feeling a bit like a pin cushion, I was relieved when it was all over.

The Cub has been kicking all day long, this makes for a very tired G. It must be all the sugar I had to drink this morning. He's finally calmed down, I'm sure he wore himself out!

Dinner tonight is filet mignon with baked potato....we'll see how it goes.

BOGO

Go here for this awesome Pick up Stix coupon!

I recommend the house special beef and garlic shrimp!

Quiet time

This is one of my favorite parts of the day. I get hooked up with a monitor to listen to Cubby's heartbeat. The TV is off, its silent in the room except for his presence, his quick little thump thumps filling the room. It's his way of telling me "I'm doing great Mom, don't worry!" I put one hand on my tummy and look at the window at the big world out there that has yet to meet him.

He's been so wild today, kicking and spinning and jumping and doing flips. It felt like 10 babies in there. His heartbeat is so sweet sounding. Like a real little boy who is mischievous and curios about the world, but loving and sweet and wants to cuddle with his Mommy. I wonder what he's thinking in there? Is he excited to meet me and his Daddy? He probably wants to put a face to all his cousins, aunties, uncles, Yia Yia, Bapou, doggies, kitties... Wow! He just kicked so hard that it startled me! I saw my hospital gown move! Yea, he's a little firecracker, just like his Mommy.

Even though this whole short cervix and bed rest thing isn't my favorite, it has given me a different view on him. I feel closer and more connected to him in there. I want to make sure he's ok and not feeling any stress. I picture what he will look like when he's born if he weighs 3lbs or 4lbs. I wonder how I will cope with him being whisked away as soon as he's born instead of being placed on my chest and covered in kisses. I know he's going to be ok. He's already a fighter. He's part of me and part of Rob. Two people that have fought hard for life. There is no doubt in my mind he will be strong willed and determined. I think he'll be book smart and street smart. He'll be funny and make people feel happy. He'll be athletic and powerful. He'll never be to old to give his parents hugs and kisses and say "I love you." He'll be respectful and responsible. He'll push his boundaries and stand up for what he believes in. He'll be a leader, not a follower. Or maybe he won't be any of those things. No matter what, he'll be exactly who he is, and I will love him to the moon and back.

Sweet Dreams

I feel so lucky to be overwhelmed by your love.

xoxoxo