Back To Square One

I feel like shit. I’m exhausted at all time. My back is in a constant state of pain. None of my clothes fit like they used to. It would all make perfect sense if my next comment was that I was pregnant. But I’m not. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but hopefully my doctor can figure it out. I did a bunch of blood tests and now I’m just waiting for the results. The only one I have gotten so far is that I am not pregnant. Thank goodness.

I have found myself in a constant haze of sadness and frustration. I worked so hard to lose the 25lbs I shed last year, and now here I sit, carrying 20 of them back on my body. And I didn’t even get to enjoy it. If I had been able to not work out and eat everything I ever dreamed about for 6 months, I would understand the weight gain. But that’s not the case. I work out twice a week. I watch what I eat. How could I have possibly gained all this weight? It’s got me really depressed. I don’t look like I used to. I feel heavy. Uncomfortable. And I feel like a failure. All that hard work, down the drain. I hate feeling this way. I have got to get some answers from the doctor so I can make a plan. Regardless of the prognosis, I need to lose 20 lbs asap and keep it off for good. I liked how I felt then. Not so much now.

I'm just so tired of being in this vicious cycle. I takes a toll after a while, and I've been doing this my whole life. So now, the thought of having to get up and fight to get this weight off, yet again, seems impossible. I don't even know where to start. I'm overwhelmed and I haven't even started yet. I know 20 lbs to most people is nothing, but it took me a year to lose it last time and it wasn't easy. I can't even think about it or I will quit before I've even began.

Ok, day by day. That's how I will have to climb this mountain. I just want to be happy with myself again, happy with the way I look and feel. I hope I can dig deep enough to make this happen.

Holy Growth Spurt, Batman!

Oh happy day! Dom is finally fitting into 18 month pants. His legs have been there for at least 6 months but his waist has been stuck in 12 month zone. Lucky for us, it was summer so he spent all of his time in shorts. It rained and was cold for the first time in forever on Monday and it was decision time. Was Dom going to school in his 12 month jeans that fit around the waist but look like he’s waiting for a flood….or break out the 18 month pants (that we try every couple of months, but are always too big) and hope today is our lucky day. What’s that? Option 2? Ok ! I slipped them on, pulled them up and..woo hoo, they fit! Finally! He can wear pants that actually are the right length instead of rocking boy capris.

He’s got a long sleeve t shirt that Lanie got him; it’s one of my favorites. It’s all black with glow in the dark skeleton bones on the front. He wore it at the garage sale in August and fit him fine. This morning I put it on and the sleeves came up to his elbows, the hem rising up almost to his bellybutton! I guess he has a major growth spurt. Must be all the fruits and veggies he eats. It seems like I just went through all his clothes and took out all the stuff that didn’t fit. Now I have to do it again. Those 12 month t shirts and pants that he was getting by with no longer fit. He is easily wearing 2T shirts and can occasionally rock a 3T.

I can hardly believe how grown up my boy is these days. He talks in full sentences and sounds like a four year old. He’s really into movies, his favorites being Toy Story 3, Shrek (all of them,) Tangled and Up (this is a depressing movie but he likes it!) He’s also totally into watching the movie trailers for “Smurfs” and “Lion King 3D.” It’s amazing to watching him get his gabba phone (that's what he calls his iPod touch,) go to the Fandango app, find the trailer he wants, play it and also turn the volume up on the screen. Is that normal for a 2 year old?

This weekend we started to watch a documentary on Beavers, because Dom loves animals and wanted to check it out. This isn't a kids cartoon about beavers, it's a real deal documentry that you'd find on the National Geographic channel. And Dom loved it. Yesterday he kept saying, "Mommy, I watch the beavers!" How awesome is that?

He has a mild obsession with all things Toy Story so of course Rob and I are happy to oblige. He’s got the pajamas, clothes, books, sippy cups, a Woody doll, a tent and various characters from the movie. I can totally understand how parents go nuts on movie themed product and how the studios make so much money off it. It’s so awesome to see Dom’s face light up when he gets something that has his favorite characters.

It honestly feels like time is rushing by us. Part of me wants Dom to stay little forever. I love when he climbs up onto my lap and wants to snuggle. But I also love that he's able to hang in the living room by himself watching a movie so I can make dinner. The one thing I do know for sure? I'm the luckiest Mom in the whole world to have such a sweet and loving son.

Captain Crutches

I can hardly believe that it’s already October. How did this happen? Alexia and Luciano’s 1st wedding anniversary is this month! Is it really possible that they got married a whole year ago? Really? Wow.



I love this photo of Dom. His little crossed legs just kill me. Halloween is not too far away. I think this is going to be a really fun one for Dom. The past two years he has been a bit small to grasp the concept, but this year he is all about it. He spends days pouring over the costume catalogs that come in mail (see above photo.) Some of his suggestions so far have been Woody from Toy Story, Shrek or a Yo Gabba character. One thing he has down is saying "trick or treat." He has already told me "Mommy, I get candy say trick or treat!"

Rob has joined back onto a soccer team and they have played about 3 games so far. They play on Friday nghts and Rob is the goalie. He looks so cute in his uniform, I wish I could see him in action. I’m not able to go to the games because they usually start at 7 or 8 and Dom is in bed by 7pm. But I am always there in spirit.This is the condition he came home in on Friday night, hopping on one leg. He had jumped up to block a ball and came down on his ankle. Did I mention that he finished out the game? When he took his sock off, I almost passed out at how huge his ankle was. The swelling was so bad! The next day he used crutches to get around and one unusable leg didn’t slow him down. He took Dom and I to lunch and he even took me out that night! He had arranged to have Ally come over at 7:30pm and took me to a movie. It’s been so long since we went, I think “the hangover” was the last one we saw together.

We went and saw “What’s your number” with Ana Farris and it was really cute. It was kind of the perfect light hearted movie. She was extremely likable and genuine on screen and the story wasn’t so out there that you scoffed and rolled your eyes. It was the perfect date movie.

I love that Rob arranged that and surprised me. I know that’s not usually in his comfort zone, and is for the most part, totally unlike him. But it really showed me that he made an effort to do something nice for me and made me feel very special. That’s what it’s all about. Making each other feel loved and appreciated and he did just that. It was so nice to get out of the house for a few hours without a diaper bag and goldfish crackers to see a movie together. And the fact that Rob was on crutches but still wanted to go means even more. What a guy!

Montessori Madness

Today we went to look at the Montessori school. Even though it’s an older school, we really liked it. When we went into one of the classrooms, Dom went straight for the toys. He started picking up different fruit, saying “Mommy, tomato, cucumber, orange.” Then he went over to a shapes puzzle and picked out the circle and octagon. Mrs. De Frenza was very impressed by how advanced he is and said that even though they don’t accept kids until 2 ½ (which would be January for Dom) that she would make an acceptation and let Dom attend right away. Wow, what a compliment that is!

Dom hung out in the classroom with the teacher and other kids while Rob and I did the tour and spoke to Mrs. De Frenza about the school. They offer activities (for an additional cost) that I think Dom would totally love, like music, soccer, gymnastics and computer lab. He would also get a report card twice a year that lets us know his progress. How cute is that?

Rob and I need to make a decision on which school we prefer and then decide when we think Dom is ready to go. I’m excited for him and just hope that changing schools won’t be too hard on him. I know he loves Nonnie and will be sad to leave her and his friends.

Pain In The Back

My lower back has been killing me for a couple of months now. I don’t know why or what’s causing it, but I wish it would stop. I have also been very tired and gained some unexpected weight. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not pregnant. I took two tests to be sure because all the symptoms sounds and feel like it. I have a doctor’s appointment next week to get checked out. Hopefully they can figure out what’s wrong with me.

Random Things About Me

I found this floating around my email from a few years ago. It was fun to look back and see where my head was at 3 years ago.

Random things about me. Dec 2008
1. Music soothes my soul. Jason Mraz changed my life. There are a lot of songs that can make me cry within the 25 seconds. I love going to concerts. I have the hardest time remembering lyrics. I just started using an iPod last year. (I know that's six random things listed under one but they are all music related so its totally allowed.) (oh, and i will probably do it again, so get over it)

2. I firmly believe I have the best family in the whole world. There is just no comparison. I have the most incredible and loving parents, and the best siblings ever. We all love each other and have the best time hanging out. If you don't like my family, there's a very good chance you and I are just not going to get along. They are my life and I would do anything for them and I'm terrified at the thought of not living within 10 minutes of them.

3. I’m not a phone person. I’d much rather email, text or write

4. I’m not a big fan of change. The words kicking and screaming come to mind

5. I heart reality TV. I know it’s bad, but I don’t care. It makes me happy.

6. I’m ready to be a mom, even though I have no clue what I’m doing. I have been around kids my whole life, I practically helped raise my little brother. I know babies! But for some reason, I think it’s different when it’s your own kid. I have the best Mom in the whole world, so if i can even be the tiniest bit like her, I’ll be good shape.

7. When I love, I give all that I have, even when it’s not reciprocated.

8. I’m a people pleaser. I don’t want anyone to be upset so i try and juggle it all to make everyone happy. But it’s exhausting and sometimes I forget about me in the process.

9. I have always just been me. I make no excuses or apologies for who I am. Yes, I have piercings, I have tattoos, I drink and smoke (not since I’ve been pregnant of course) I’m opinionated and different and I like that about me. If you don’t, go kick rocks.

10. I love my brothers and sister so much and they are my hero’s in so many ways. Dimitri would live and die for his family and he has the best laugh ever. Lexi is just as beautiful inside as she is outside. I look at her and think “she did everything right.” Marcus is one in a million. He has a heart of gold, a sense of humor that is untouchable and I’m lucky enough to call him one of my best friends.

11. I miss my grandparents more then I let on. I surround myself with photos of them and hope they are proud of me.

12. These past 3 months have been the toughest of my life. I’ve had some difficult times in my 33 years, but nothing has pushed me to the edge like this. I think I’m stronger for it but it’s too soon to tell.

13. I’m an eternal optimist for other people but have a hard time being that for myself.

14. Ever since my car accident in 1993 (it was a doozy) I have a VERY hard time driving when other people are in the car with me. I freeze up and start to panic. I also suddenly have no idea where I’m going or how to get there.

15. I can kind of be a tiny bit of a control freak. It’s very subtle, but it comes out sometimes. Usually when it involves planning something, like a party. but that’s only because I KNOW how to throw a good party:)

16. I have my parents stuck at certain ages. My Dad will always be 45 and my Mom will always be 36. I think it’s because I am terrified of anything happening to them and the thought of them not being in my life is too much too handle

17. I have a terrible fear of home invasion. It used to paralyze me and keep me up at night, but since Rob and I have been together, it’s more of an afterthought. But I want to learn how to shoot a gun, just in case.

18. I was born in London and moved here in 1985. I miss my family there more than they know. I still have an English accent when I’m around my family but it goes away when I’m around my friends. I’m still a British citizen and have a British passport.

19. I once had a gun pointed to my head by a total stranger. My only thought running through my head over and over was is it going to hurt when I die? It was when I was in high school, on prom night at the 7-11 in Newport Beach. Thankfully no one was hurt. My date, Raymond, got out the car (unarmed,) got in the guy’s face and scared him off. Lanie’s date pissed his pants and hid under the steering wheel column lol. But in Lanie’s defense, she only went to prom with him so I could go with my date. She totally took one for the team, because that’s what a good best friend she is.

20. I can be tough as nails, but am easily hurt too.

21. Rob makes me really happy and the madness we have been through has been worth it. I can’t wait to see him in action as a Dad, I know he’ll be great.

22. I love water. I drink tons of it every day, but it must be cold. I make a really good glass of it. It’s been called “gina water” and I get requests for it all the time. True story.

23. Lanie is my oldest and dearest friend. We have been friends for over 20 years and I wouldn’t have made it this far without her. She’s the definition of a true friend and good person. If you know her, your life is better for it.

24. I have had 3 cars my whole life, never a new one. My current one (Nissan Altima)I have had for 8 years. It’s got 98,000 miles on it and is hanging on for dear life, but I love my silver bullet.

25. I love to eat out. Ever since I was a little kid, there is something about the experience of eating at a restaurant that just makes me happy. But I have a weird thing with most places where I always order the same thing off the menu at each particular restaurant. I have been going to Red Robin since high school and never ordered anything but the chicken teriyaki sandwich. Same thing at Rubys-I have always ordered the cheeseburger with low fat American. And Islands-the toucan sandwich. Is that weird?

Pre School Prep

We had a nice weekend without too much rushing around. On Saturday we got up and went to the gym and then headed off to take a tour of Page Private School in Costa Mesa. Dom is ready for preschool (sob!) so we want to make sure we’re as well informed of our different choices as possible. Generally preschool begins at 3-31/2 but Dom is ready. He already knows his abc’s and can count to 10. He knows some shapes and is learning colors. He speaks in full sentences. And seeing him in a classroom setting made it clear to us that he is ready to learn and be in an environment that is more geared towards that.

We really liked the school and even though It’s pricey, it’s in the running as a possibility. We are also going to look at Harbor Mesa Montessori, which is where Alexia and Marcus attended many years ago. Mrs De Frenza is still the principal and remembers my Mom and the kids. I am really interested in the Montessori Method of teaching because it focuses on individual learning curve as opposed to the whole classroom. So if Dom is learning quickly and ahead of the other kids, he’ll move on instead of waiting for the next school year.

I can’t believe we’re already looking at preschools for Dom. Man, time flies!

Starbucks Run

As we pulled up to daycare this morning, we saw Neesi leaving. I said to Dom, “oh look, is she going to the store for chicken nuggets and grapes?” He said “no Mommy, Neesi go get a frachachino!”

My Night Off

Dom put up a bit of a fight last night when I put him to bed, but this time he only cried for about 10 minutes. He slept from 7:30pm-6:30p, which is a vast improvement from the last two nights.

Tonight is my dinner night with Lanie so Rob will be putting him to bed. I look forward to my once a week dinner out. Not that I don’t love and cherish every second I have with Dom, because I really do. But it’s nice to sometimes not have to worry about making dinner, getting Dom bathed and into bed.

I’m so appreciative that Rob is a really good Daddy and loves to have the special one on one time with his boy. Dom loves it too. Everybody wins.

Getting There

Rob put Dom down at 7pm with little fuss and he slept through the night (yay) but woke up at 5:30am (boo.)

No Sleep For The Wicked

We had a very rough night last night. Dom just didn’t want to go to sleep. The first hour was him crying/yelling/screaming. He would do this thing where he was coughing so hard he would start choking, sounding like he was throwing up. I don’t know if that was his intent or not, but it worked. I hearing him so upset, totally broke my heart. It also got me totally freaked out so I told him he could read his book but had to stay in bed.

About half an hour later, I heard him singing. When I looked at the video monitor, saw him holding his bunny and dancing him around his crib with Scout, and then…a little bare butt. Yes, you read that correctly. Then I heard him say “uh oh Mommy, I go pee pee!” Yes, he took off his diaper and then peed in his bed. I have heard of kids doing that and wondered when my time would come. Well, wonder no more. I changed his sheets, gave him a new blanket and got him into some clean jammies.

At this point it was 9pm and Rob and I just kind of threw our hands up. We brought him in with us (which I think was because we both missed him so much) where he proceeded to crack us up by showing us his dance moves while singing “I’m a dancing machine, I’m a dancing machine.” He jumped, bounced, wriggled and flew all over the bed making funny noises. It was honestly like he had sat and ate a bag of pure sugar, he was that hyper. I think it was because he missed us too and wanted to catch up on the time we missed out on. He’d tell me to cry and when I did he’d put his little hand under my chin and say “what’s the matter Mommy?” “I’m sad” I replied. He put his sweet face close to mine and said “I give you a hug?” and then proceeded to wrap his arms around me. It was just the most precious thing. Then he said “cry again Mommy” and when I did he held up his hand and said “No Mommy, stop it. It’s Daddy’s turn!” He then turned to Rob and repeated the whole thing to him, hug and all. We couldn’t help but laugh.

Come 11pm, the laughing had turned into frustration. We just wanted to sleep but he was still on a roll. At this point in Dom’s life, we are sort of trapped. He is big enough to climb out of his crib if he wants to but he knows that he’s not supposed to. When he’s in there screaming and crying because he doesn’t want to go to bed, I worry that he’ll try to climb out and fall. So I have no choice but to let him come into our room. This hardly ever happens, and yes, I know, I need to come to terms with the fact that he’s a breath away from being in a big boy bed. I just can’t..not yet…

Finally, about 12:30am he settled down, asked me to sing him “hush a baby” and snuggled up next to me. We slept liked babies…until he woke up at 4:00am and decided it was time to get up for the day. There was no talking him back into sleeping, so I reluctantly got up and went into the living room with him. Even though he didn’t need to, Rob joined us for moral support. What a good guy huh? We all sat on the couch and watch Shrek while dozing on and off. Before we knew it, it was time to get ready for work. Let’s just say it was a rough day at the office.
It seems when Dom spends more than one night away from home, it takes him a while to get back into his routine. Luckily it doesn’t happen very often, usually once a year.

Vegas Baby!

And just like that, it’s over. I had so much fun hanging out and not having anywhere in particular to be. The first day we went and had lunch at our hotel, the Golden Nugget. We hit up the buffet and started in on the free mimosas. It's safe to say that from point on I was feeling good. We all were:)

Lanie and I got to hang at the pool both days and we even went down the huge waterslide. I have to say, i might be getting too old for that. It was fun but more claustriphobic than anything. I was glad come out the othere end in one piece. Wow, yea, I'm old! We did some gambling and i won on the blackjack table. $255 baby! Woo! That paid for my flight and hotel soI was very happy:)

It was also nice to have some time with Rob where we could be together as grown ups and as a couple instead of Mommy and Daddy. I really think it's important to be able to reconnect on that level every once in a while, sort of like re charging the batteries.

Vegas was awesome but I could have definitly used one more day. I had so much fun, but was happy to come home and see Dom. I had really missed him!

Darker Shade of Pale

I went through with the Mystic Tan yesterday, and it wasn’t so bad. I was nervous it would be splotchy and orange but today I just look like a golden brown version of myself. Yay!

We leave for Vegas in the morning and I’m SO EXCITED! I packed for both Rob and I last night and now I just need to pack Dom’s case. He’s so pumped to stay with Yia Yia and Bapou. We’re so lucky to have them not only offer to take Dom, but really want to and look forward to it. He loves them so much and can’t wait to “watch animals” with Bapou and take a bath in Yia Yia’s disco tub. I’m going to miss my little monkey, but I’m also really looking forward to some grown up time. Woooo!

Dom-isms

As Dom and I were pulling up to his daycare this morning, Neesi was pulling out of the driveway. Dom asked me where she was going and I told him “I don’t know baby, where do you think she might be going?” Without hesitation he said “Neesi go to store to get me grapes and chicken nuggets!” paahahaa, I love my kid!

Vegas Prep

It’s officially VEGAS WEEK! I’m so excited for Saturday, it can’t come soon enough. I made my list of stuff I need to do and am going down each item, checking them off as I go. Mani/pedi? Check. Eyebrow wax? Check. South Coast Plaza to get a replacement for my foundation? Check.

I’ve used Clinique Super Fit foundation in “golden beige” for the past 8 years and found out today that they discontinued it! I hate when that happens. Lucky for me, they have a replacement that’s even better. It’s called..wait for it… “Even Better foundation.” Pretty original huh? The best part is it was freeeee. I had two Macy’s gift cards that have been in my wallet for a very long time(over 4 years) and were just collecting dust. I never go to Macy’s so they just hadn’t been used. But I made a point of going today so I could use them. I also got a refill on my “TOO FACED” bronzer, a new primer from Stila and another kabuki brush from MAC ($48!) because my other one went missing about 3 weeks ago (Cuddles? Sophie? Dom?) Retail price for everything was about $125. I paid zero dollars and zero cents. Thank you, thank you very much.
Tomorrow I’m supposed to do the mystic tan thing, but I’m still not totally sold on it. Friday I have to drop Sophie off at the place where we are boarding her and then jam over to my hair appointment with Irene at Vogue Salon to fix my highlights. The best part of that is I get a fresh new blow out right before Vegas.

What am I missing….hmm….oh yea, I have to PACK! Arrgh! At least my luggage is cute. I saw the raddest suitcase at Ross for $50. It’s leopard print pink accents. Totally me. I showed a photo of it to Rob and he said he’s treat me to it. How awesome is that? He’s so good to me and I’m very lucky to have such a loving and generous boyfriend:)

Life Advice

I saw this online the other day and I liked every point, even though number 26 is a tough one. Great Life Advice.

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2010.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes’ walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
10. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
11. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
12. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
13. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
15. Dream more while you are awake.
16. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
17. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
18. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
19. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. The best is yet to come.
36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

MNF

Monday night football at our house tonight, Broncos vs. Raiders. Rob made steaks us, Josh and Steve..oh yea, we’re not messing around over here! I made cornbread and a cheesy zucchini bake. Broncos got their asses handed to them. Sorry Steve!

So Close to Sin City

Vegas! Vegas! Vegas! I can't believe it's next week! it seems like i was just thinking "I can't believe it's 2 months away" and now here it is....did I mention that I'm excited?

I have started my lists. This is something that I like to do before a trip or big event. It helps me stay organized, plus it gives me real pleasure. I don't know why, maybe it's the Virgo in me? I like to make lists of what I need to buy before the trip. What I need to pack. What I need to get done before we leave. Then I like crossing the items off, one by one. I know, I know...but it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Tuesday is the gym, Wednesday is mani/pedi, Thursday is tan (more on that later,) Friday is get my highlights fixed and drop Sophie off at the boarding place. Oh, and pack. Then Saturday morning is off to V-Town! Our flight is at 8:45am (nice and early) so we will arrive first thing and still have the whole day! Woooo!

Ok, the tanning thing. I know it's weird and not like me, but here's why I'm going. I got a groupon last year good for 3 mystic tans for $15. Lexi's wedding was coming up so I thought, hey, why not get a golden glow and look fab in the photos. Well, I ended up not doing it and I realized the other day that this groupon expires next month. So what the hell, I might as well get a little color before I go to sin city, right?

Heat Wave

We're still going through a heat wave here. Yesterday was by far the worst. It was 97 degrees during the day and 83 degrees in our house at 7pm. We couldn’t get Dom’s room to cool down because the air outside was so HOT and HUMID! It was nasty and wasn’t making my cold feel any better.

Finally Rob put a fan at Cub's bedroom door, pointing towards his crib and I took of his jammies so he could sleep in his diaper. He actually fell asleep without any problem. But he woke up at midnight, I think he was scared by the loud whooshing noise the fan was making. I brought him into our bed where he insisted that he wanted to watch Shrek. I had to explain to him that its was still night night time and we could watch it in the morning.

After about 30 mins he finally started to settle down and was ready to sleep. He shifted around, trying to find the most comfy position. Lucky for me, that ended up being snuggled up to me. Then he whispered "Mommy, hush baby please." Did my kid just request a song? This isn't Woostock my friend. "Mommy, sing hush baby please." Well, he did say please. I started sing "hush a my baby, on the tree top. When the wind blo..." Interputing me he said "Mommy, my shirt." I don't think Mariah Carey has this many demands, but I was happy to do it.

So nestled up in my arms, I sang my baby to sleep while fanning the back of his shirt. Every now and then i would nod off back to sleep int he middle of the song and he's wake me up to keep going. Finally, he fell asleep and I did too.

It’s just as hot today too, which doesn’t make me happy. Hopefully this heat wave is close to being over.

Labor Day BBQ

Yesterday was Labor Day and we had a BBQ over at our house. It was so hot and humid, but we had a fun day with some friends and family. Dom was beyond excited to hang out with his cousins Alyssa, Boo,Jake and Ray Ray. We broke out the kiddie pool and they had blast playing in the water and splashing around. I made pasta salad, coleslaw and cupcakes (all came out good) and Rob manned the grill.

The craziest thing was that we realized Dom is old enough to play inside while we’re outside. He hung out in the living room with the kids for part of the day and watched Shrek (surprise) and Toy Story while we were outside with our guests. It was kind of a trip to not have to be right on top of him, making sure he’s ok and safe. A trip but also a relief. He’s getting more independent by the day. This makes me happy but also kind of sad. My baby is growing up right before my eyes. Hopefully it won't happen too quickly.

Dream On

I have a natural tendency to have romanticise certain things. I think this leads to unrealistic expectations that in turn can set me up to fail.

I like to think that everything will always work out in the end. I prefer to have a positive attitude about something, even if the chances of it being bad are pretty good. Some call that being naive. I call it having faith.

There are people out there that think if you are a dreamer, you have no sense of what's real in this world. I disagree. I believe if you have the guts to dream, to consider the "what if's..." you are opening up the world in front of you to endless opportunities.

I like being a dreamer, even if it does sometimes let me down. I will take that in exchange for all the hundreds of blissful moments it has given me over the years.

Compliments Will Get You Everywhere

Dom and I were sitting on the couch watching Shrek when he looked at me and said “Mommy’s pretty!” I felt my heart melt right there on the spot.

Dom-isms

Dom says so many things that crack me up and make me smile. He still calls Rob “babe” half the time, which never gets old. Here are some other gems:

Oh my gosh!- he says this one in a funny little accent, usually like this: “oh my gosh Mommy, I have jello on my hand!”

It’s not funny- he learned this one from Rob. Dom was misbehaving and laughing so Rob told him “it’s not funny Dominic.” He picked it up and now like to say it if I think he’s being cute so I laugh, but he’s actually trying to be defiant. I get the “it’s not funny Mommy!”

Stop it- ok, he learned this one from me. When he does something he’s not supposed to, like pour water out of the bath when he’s sitting in it, I tell him “Stop it Dom.” So now if he doesn’t like something Rob or I are doing, he busts right out with it. If he’s watching tv and I turn it off because it’s bed time, he’ll say “no Mommy, stop it!”

Five more minutes- I guess all kids learn this one at some point; I just didn’t think it would be so soon. This one obviously came from me telling Dom he has five more minutes before something, usually bedtime. Now he’ll use it all the time. “Come on Dom, time to go to school.” “Five more minutes Mommy.” Or “Dominic, say bye to Yia Yia and Bapou, it’s time to go home.” He’ll hold up his little hand and wave it around saying “five more minutes please Mommy!”

In a minute- This is a fairly new one that is sometimes used instead of “five more minutes.” Typically I’ll ask something, like to pick up his toys, and he’ll say “in a minute.” That one is probably my fault too. When your kid asks you a thousand questions in the span of 30 seconds, “in a minute” becomes a regular player in daily vocabulary.

I guess so- this is maybe my favorite. It doesn’t make an appearance very often, but when it does, it makes my whole day. Used in a sentence: I ask Dom “hey baby, do you want some orange juice with breakfast?” and he replies, in the sweetest, tiny, squeaky voice “I guess thso.” Ughhh, I just die every single time. First of all, that little voice is so delicious I just want to eat it for dessert. And second of all, does he even know what it means when he says that? Regardless, I love it.

Happy Birthday To Me

Well, I’m officially kind of old. Sunday was my 36th birthday and I have mixed feelings about that number. For the most paty, I still feel young. I haven’t hit a point where I’m depressed about my age, or feel like I’m getting up there in years. I still enjoy most of the things I did when I was in my twenties and early thirties. But then think about the fact that 40 is only 4 years away. 40?! How is that possible? When I’m 40, Dominic will be 5. That makes me feel VERY old. I guess that’s what happens when you wait and have your first (and only) kid at 34. Oh, did I mention that when Dom graduates high school, I’ll be a lovely ripe old age of 51? Ok, I need to stop, I’m getting depressed.

Rob had to be in Phoenix on Saturday to get the last of things from his house before it closed escrow. Instead of going out for by birthday that night, I ended up having a girls night at Lanie’s house. Tina and Rayline also came over and we had dinner, played cards (gin rummy) and had some drinks. It was mellow but fun and a nice change from the usual fanfare. Dom spent the night with my Mom and Dad, which he was so excited about. “Mommy, I watch animals on TV with Bapou.” When I picked him up on Sunday, he got very upset when it was time to go home. He clutched onto his Yia Yia and said “nooooo Mommy, I want Yia Yia!!!” Poor baby. He always has so much fun and it’s always so hard to leave.

Rob came home Sunday afternoon and took us to “The Spaghetti Factory” for dinner. Dom was apparently very hungry because while we were waiting for our food, he was captain cranky pants. Everything was “no” and “stop it” which didn’t make for a very relaxing dinner. But when his food came, he gobbled it up fast! Cranky when he’s hungry…wherever does he get that from? (*cough* Gina *cough* all you)

Mom and Dad got me a gift card for Vogue Salon towards getting my haircut and colored (it’s been over a year people!) and also a food processor! I’m so excited to try it out. Mom said I’ll wonder how I lived without it. Rob got me cooling stands (for when I make cookies,) a cookbook stand, stainless steel mixing bowls and new headphones for my iPod! All stuff that was on my wish list, so I’m stoked. Marcus got me two really cool books, one about AC/DC and one written by Duff from Guns n Roses about his life. I love autobiographies!

So I’m 36 years old now. I share my life with my boyfriend our beautiful son, who I love and adore with all my heart. We have a pretty wonderful life together and I feel very lucky to say that I am truly happy.

Shrek Obsessed

Dom is super obsessed with the Shrek movies right now. He can’t get enough of it. He wants to watch it every single day and usually cries when we turn it off for bath time or to go to school. It’s the first time he’s really gotten into a movie before, and I think it’s pretty cute. His favorite parts are the ones with music in them. He’ll dance around, grab his gabba guitar and rock out. Rob got him (of course) all the characters in soft, plush form and sometimes he makes them talk and dance along with the movie. We're pretty stoked because the movies are hilarious and I’ve only seen the first one. So now we get to catch up and enjoy then with Dom.

Broadway Yard Sale 2011

Every year, we have a summer tradition. The Broadway Yard Sale. We get together with Lanie and her family and have a multi-family yard sale at her Mom’s house. This photo was taken on the way over there at 6:30am and I have to tell you that Dom was really excited about it all. And can we talk for a second about how long his legs look?

We first started it in 2009 and Dom was only about 4 weeks old. Can you believe? There we were, selling our stuff at 7 in the morning while holding little Cubbers in one hand and handing over change with the other.

We’ve done it every year since and it’s one of my favorite traditions. Not only do we (ok, lets be honest..I..Rob has hard time parting with stuff) get to sell some of stuff and make a little moolah, but we get to spend the day with loved ones and get rid of stuff we no longer need. The best part is seeing how Dom has changed over the years.

This year especially was great because he was in heaven. He was running around the front yard, checking out all the items for sale. He helped Tina unload her boxes and made several laps to make sure he said hi to everyone. He had the best time and was just so excited to be there. That in turn made me very happy too. I got rid of a bunch of old clothes, shoes and purses and made $100. Everybody wins!

Barney Up Close and Personal

Dom is feeling much better, yay! Today we took Dom to his first concert. Barney! Rob bought tickets for us and of course, they were the best seats in the house. Front row center with VIP access to meet Barney before the show. Dom got to say hi, give him a hug and we got our photo taken with him on stage.

I’ll be honest; I was kind of dreading this afternoon because I am not a big fan of the Dino. But you know what? It wasn’t that bad. They sang a lot of songs that Dom knew, like “the wheels on the bus” and “itsy bitsy spider.” The best part was watching Dominic’s reaction. Half the time he sat in his seat, completely mesmerized by what was going on. As soon as the music and dancing stopped, he’d say “more Mommy!” Then the next song would begin and he’d back in his seat, looking on in awe. After the intermission, he seemed to really get into it. Standing up and dancing along with the other kids. He even got up on the big screen at one point!

He did really well for it being a long day. I picked him up from daycare at 1pm (after he only had a 40 min nap) and we got to Long Beach by 2pm for the meet and greet with Barney. The show started at 3pm and went to 4:30pm. By the time we got home it was close to 5:30pm and he was wiped out. We kept him awake in the care by singing songs and dancing, and thankfully it worked.

When it was time for bed, I laid him down in his crib with bunny and his new friend Baby Bop. I didn’t hear a peep from him until the morning. The first words out of his mouth? “Mommy, can I see Barney again? Please?” I think it’s safe to say he had a great time. Rob is so awesome to make that happen. What an great memory for all three of us.

Cough Cough Sniffle

Dom has had a small cough since last week and it’s progressively been getting worse so today I took him to the doctor to get checked out. Poor guy has the runniest of all noses and it’s driving him nuts. He’s been on and off with feeling warm, never having a full on fever, but not definitely more flush than usual.

As we pushed open the door to the waiting room, Dom ran over to the book wall to do some light reading. As I signed us in, the office staff all stand up to peek out and tell Dom hello. They love him, what can I say? Not missing a beat, Dom runs over to them and says “hiii guys!” Haa haaa haaa, it made me laugh out loud. Where does he get this stuff?

We waited in the doctor’s office and as soon as she walked in, Dom said to her “Doctor, my nose hurts. I need medicine for my nose!” Kill me now. Does it get any better than that? He promptly laid down so she could check him out. Turns out he has a sinus infection that is causing the cough and a lovely case of post nasal drip. The post nasal drip, in turn, is causing the phlemy breathing and also started working on an ear infection. Luckily we caught it before it got worse.

After getting dressed and saying “thank you Doctor!” we headed off to the appointment desk to see Miss Linda. Dom knows he gets a sticker after his appointment so he couldn’t wait to grab one. Usually there are slim pickings…a no name monkey holding a firecracker and maybe a Thomas the Tank Engine. But today was Doms day..they had Yo Gabba! WHAT? No way, how was that gem not scooped up already by some sticky fingered kid? Right next to that sat Dora, Mickey Mouse, Diego and Sponge Bob. Dom’s eyes lit up as he yelled out the name of each character while reaching over and plucking them up one by one. I had to remind him that he only gets one sticker, and he has to share with the rest with the other kids.

Of course this did not go over well with him. Furrowed brows made their way to the main stage, but quickly disappeared when Miss Linda told him he could pick two. You see, my son is kind of a star over there. All the doctors and nurses love him. He’s been going there since birth, so they have seen him grow up. They asked him, “How old are you Dom?” He replied “I’m twoooooo! I had party. Pinata, bang bang with toyyyssss!” He had everyone’s attention and he was eating it up. He broke out into song “happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Domiiiiii!” The grand finale was him smooshing his lips together and blowing out his “candles.”

No one can believe he just turned two because he speaks so well and no one can believe he’s actually able to tell them about his party. I stood there beaming, feeling so lucky that this is MY kid.

Heart Breaker

Lock up your daughters, McCool is going to be breaking hearts!

40 questions

1. What’s your middle name? don’t have one
2. How big is your bed? California king
3. What are you listening to right now? Britney!
4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? 5887
5. What was the last thing you ate? In n out (I know, don't judge me)
6. Last person you hugged? Dominic:)
7. How is the weather right now? Hot, Hot, Hot
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My Dad
9. What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Hmm..style I guess
10. Favorite type of food? French fries
11. Do you want children? Got one, he’s the best
12. Do you drink? Sure do, about once a month if that
13. Ever get so drunk you don’t remember the entire night? Ugh, yes. Once. My 35th birthday
14. Hair color? brown
15. Eye colour? Brown but wear blue colored contacts, sometimes green
16. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Yes and yes
17. Favorite holiday? My birthday! Oh wait, that’s not a holiday?
18. Favorite season? summer
19. Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? Of course, many times as a kid and an adult
20. Last movie you watched? Hall pass, last night with Rob. Hilarious (I asked Rob what he would do if I gave him a hall pass. His answer? Starve. Paahaahaaa!!!! Best. Answer. Ever.)
21. What books are you reading? Steven Adler autobiography
22. Piercings? Ears and nose
23. Favorite movie? Ooh tough one. Love Actually, Sweetest thing, About a Boy
24. Favorite college football team? Not a fan
25. What were you doing before filling this out? Folding laundry
26. Any pets? Sophie, English Bulldog and Cuddles, kitty
27. Dogs or cats? both
28. Favorite flower? Peonies
29. Have you ever loved someone? Um, really? Do I have a pulse? Is the Pope Catholic? Yes, of course
30. Who would you like to see right now? My Grandparents
31. Have you ever fired a gun? No, but want to learn
32. Do you like to travel by plane? Yes, beats driving by a landslide.
33. Right-handed or Left-handed? right
34. If you could go to any place right now where would you go? New York
35. Are you missing someone? My Grandparents:( And all my family in London!
36. Do you have a tattoo? Yep, 6 of them. Ready for another one
37. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? Well, Dom does (Shrek) so I guess so
38. Are you hiding something from someone? Nope. I am who I am. Love it or leave it.
39. Are you 18? No, and I’m quite happy about that
40. What do before you go to bed? Watch tv, play with my ipad, kiss Rob goodnight

2 Year Check Up

Dom had his 2 year checkup today and he’s doing great, of course. Rob got off work a little early to meet us over there. He’s such an awesome Dad. He has always made a point of being at all Dom’s well checks. I try to schedule the last appointment of the day, and Rob always makes it there. He has such a strong commitment to being the best Dad he can be, and that not effects only Dom in a positive way, but me too. It’s a good feeling to have us both there and I think it’s good for Dom to see that too. It sends a subtle but strong message about doing things as a family and that we are both there for him.

While we hung out in the waiting room, Dom browsed some books and played in the boat. He looks so grown up in this photo, his little kneeall propped up. Such a handsome kid!

The doctor told us Dom is very advanced in his vocabulary for his age. We always thought so, but we’re his parents. Don’t all parents feel that their kid is especially smart and brilliant? The best part was that he didn’t need any shots. Yay! I was kind of dreading that part because he’s older now, and much more aware of what’s going on. But luckily, the Doc said he doesn’t need another well check for a whole year. Whoop!

7 guys you don’t want to marry

Here’s another article I read that I found pretty interesting. Unfortunately, I have dated a few of these men, each who had multiple traits outlined below.

The Guy Who Broke Your Heart and Never Really Apologized
Just because he sees love and marriage in your future doesn't mean he's sorry for hurting you that one time (or two or three times). Though everyone screws up, being able to admit when you're wrong — and being with someone who can do the same — is crucial to a happy marriage. For my fellow "Friends" lovers: Ross and Rachel may have wound up together, but you can be sure the "We were on a break!" conversation still haunts them.

The Cheater
I don't necessarily believe in "Once a cheater, always a cheater," but I have a hard time believing you'll be happy if you marry a repeat offender — especially if you were the cheated-on. Admit it: A small part of you would never be able to trust him. What kind of marriage is that?

The Me-First Man
A big part of love and marriage is being able to put yourself second sometimes. Guys who are too occupied with themselves to do the occasional (and preferably, frequent!) nice thing for you don't make solid partners.

The Con Artist
You may have swooned when he swindled his evil boss and made some quick cash. No matter how much the jerky superior deserved it, your guy just showed he can't be trusted. Even if he'd never do the same to you, con-men are shady characters, and you never know when you might wind up in hot water for his actions.

The Addicted-to-Work Worker
Being ambitious is admirable. Working 60-hour weeks every week? Maybe when he's just starting out and it's the only option to get ahead (my lawyer friends come to mind). If he loves his job more than he loves being with you (as in, he anticipates working crazy hours for the rest of his life, whether or not you like it), you won't be the happiest wife on the block. It's not much fun having a partner if he's never ever around.… and His Opposite..

Mr. Lazy Days
Maybe you can't wait to be the sole breadwinner and have a house-husband. But said husband has to contribute in some way to making your home a happy one, whether he cooks, cleans, or cares for any kids you may have together. You'll grow frustrated with a guy who does nothing more than sit on the couch.

The Can't-Handle-Tough-Times Guy
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but love and marriage aren't always easy — there's a reason you have to promise to stay together for better or worse. A man who shuts down when the going gets tough won't be there when you need him most. Trust me: You don't want a husband you can't count on

Hug It Out

This is the best feeling ever. Having my baby boy wrap his arms around me and squeezing. His hugs are so sweet and always make my day. He’s such a love bug, I hope he’ll always want to hug and kiss his parents

Don’t you dig his hat? Megs parents got that for his and he loves it. He wears the thing every day to school. I think the feels like Diego, so that’s a plus haha.

He’s being doing the funniest thing lately. A while back you’ll recall that I asked him to go get Daddy and tell him breakfast was ready. He yelled down the hallway “BABE! Brefas ready!” I almost died from laughter! Well, now he calls Rob babe all the time. “Hey Mommy, where’s Babe?” Babe at work?” It’s so hilarious to hear him call his Daddy babe. Such a funny kid.

10 Truths I Wish I’d Known Sooner

Saw this in my Real Simple Magazine, pretty interesting and pretty right on.

10 truths I wish I’d known sooner by Amy Bloom

1. Events reveal people’s characters; they don’t determine them. Not everyone with divorced parents has terrible relationships. If two people are hit by a bus and crippled for life, one will become a bitter shut-in; the other, the kind of warm, outgoing person (cheerful despite everything) whom everyone loves to be with. It’s not about the bus, and a dreadful childhood is no excuse. You have the chance to be the person you wish to be, until you die.

2. Lying, by omission or commission, is a bad idea. I cannot shake my dependency on the white lie, because I was brought up to be nice. And I’ve never figured out the nice way to say, “I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than come to your house for dinner.” But the meaningful lie, the kind that involves being untruthful or deceitful about important stuff to those you love, is like poison. Telling the truth hurts, but it doesn’t kill. Lying kills love.

3. Sex always give you an answer, although not necessarily the one you want. It’s possible to have very good sex, a few times, with a person who shouldn’t be in your life at all. Have fun, and hide your wallet and your BlackBerry. On the other hand, it’s unlikely that a grown man, however nice, will become much, much better in bed than he was the first five times you slept with him. And if you sleep with a man who is unkind to you, there will be more of that; long after the sex is humdrum, the cruelty will be vivid.

4. Most talents are transferable. If you can raise toddlers and teenagers with relative calm, you can be a CEO. If you’re a good driver, you can probably steer a cab, fly a plane, captain a boat. My years as a waitress―serving food to demanding people in a high-stress environment without losing my temper―served me equally well as a mother, a wife, and a short-order cook for my family. And if you have the teaching gene, you can teach anything. (I mean it. All you have to do is be one lesson ahead of your students. Sole meunière, Latin and Greek, algebra―you can teach it!)

5. Fashion fades; style is eternal. Not only do you not have to wear torn jeans, a barely-there tank top, and a fedora, but you probably shouldn’t. The point of fashion is to indulge briefly in something fun. The point of style is to have one―whether that’s a sheath and spike heels or slouchy jeans and your husband’s T-shirt―and it should last you a lifetime. All you have to do is think you deserve to look and feel your best and spend some time figuring out how to do it. Don’t know? Find a woman whose style you admire and ask for a little advice.

6. You can’t fake love. Staying in a love relationship when love is not what you feel isn’t likely to end well. If you know that what you crave is security/disposable income/child care and not the person next to you in bed, do the right thing. It’s true that one can learn to love someone over time and often through difficult circumstances. But unless the two of you agree to wait until you’re old and all the storms have passed, in the hope that love will kick in, it’s better to bail sooner rather than later.

7. Mean doesn’t go away. Some people get better looking with age; some don’t. Some people soften; some toughen up. Mean streaks tend not to disappear. A person who demeans and belittles you and speaks of you with contempt to others is probably going to be that way for years. The first time it happens, take note. The second time, take your coat and go.

8. No one’s perfect. I knew that I wasn’t perfect; I just didn’t realize that this also applied to the people I fell in love with. The object of your affection will always turn out to have huge and varied faults. The smart thing is not to look for someone flawless (which is why Elizabeth Taylor married eight times), but to look for someone whose mix of strengths and liabilities appeals to you (which is why she married Richard Burton twice).

9. Ask for help. It’s possible you’ll get turned down. It’s even more likely that you’ll feel vulnerable and exposed. Do it anyway, especially if you are the helpful sort yourself. Those of us who like to offer assistance and hate to take any are depriving other people of the opportunity to be generous and kind; we are also blinding ourselves to the reality of mutual dependence. You wouldn’t wear pink hot pants and pretend they were flattering. Don’t pretend you don’t need help.

10. Keep your eye on the prize and your hand on the plow. It’s easy to lose sight of what you want, especially if you haven’t gotten it. I know it’s less work to put the wish away, to pretend that the wish itself has disappeared. But it’s important to know what your prize is, because that is part of who you are. Whether it’s financial stability, two children, a collection of poetry, or a happy marriage, take Winston Churchill’s advice and never give in. Never give in. Never give in.

You've Got Mail

When I picked up Dominic from daycare yesterday, the mailman was across the street. “What’s that Mommy?” “It’s the mailman honey, he’s delivering mail.” He processed this information and then yelled “Hiiiii mailman!” while waving frantically. On the drive home we always pass the park and the ducks. Armed with his brand new knowledge he says to me “Mommy, where the ducks mailman?” I tell him “I don’t know baby. What is the mailman going to bring the ducks?” He then tells me “mailman bring duck presents.” “oh yea, what kind of presents?” After giving it some thought, he says, very matter-of-factly, “duck food!” Well of course. What else would he bring them? Yes folks, my two year old is a smarty pants.

Terrible Two's

I have always heard about “the terrible two’s” but didn’t think my sweet Dominic would ever be close to terrible. And thankfully, he’s not. But I have to say, he has been testing my patience a lot these past couple of months, especially the past week or so. He doesn’t listen when I tell him to pick up his toys. He runs away (shrieking with laughter) when I try and grab him for bath time. The worst is when we’re playing outside and the starts walking down the sidewalk. I tell him to stop and come back to our yard and he keeps going. Then I tell him again, “Dominic Marcus McCool, get your butt back over here right now.” He looks over his shoulder, smirks and keeps on walking. I keep waiting for him to turn around and am kind of biding time because I know once I walk towards him, he’ll run. Finally he’s 4 hourses down and I have no choice put to run after him. Of course, as soon as I take two steps, he takes off running too. Now I’m not only trying to get to him before he runs around the corner, but I’m trying to grab him so he doesn’t trip and fall. His head is bigger than his body and sometimes he get’s a little top heavy. When I finally get him he gets annoyed and says “stop it Mommy” and will sometimes even give a little hit. Yes! My precious boy raised his hand to me!

This past weekend Rob was in AZ and I found it pretty overwhelming to be alone dealing with Dom’s new attitude. For some reason, as soon as he gets all sassy pants, so does Sophie. So then I have Dom yelling, Sophie barking, and Mommy about to lose her cool. Getting up at 6am with him and then having a full day of doing the opposite of what I ask him without being able to step out of the situation for five minutes and take a “cool down” breath was tough. He got at least 5 times out over the weekend, and that is the most he’s ever had. He knows they are coming too. He’ll do something naughty and then say “Mommy, time out.” Once he’s done with his time out, he comes over to me and says “sorry Mommy. Hug?” and wraps his tiny little arms around me. I’m sorry, why was I annoyed? I forget. All that I care about right now is my sweet son hugging me.

For some reason, the one day of the month Rob isn’t there, he was on a roll. There were a few times that I got overwhelmed and lost my temper a bit. I raised my voice at him when I should have remained calm. That night, after I put him to bed, I felt bad. I looked at his angelic little face on the video monitor and wondered how I could ever be frustrated at such a wonderful kid.

I am so lucky to have Rob around most of the time because he’s really good about helping me in that way. He’ll take Dom outside to play or take Sophie for a walk. He’ll have him help garden or ride bikes. It gives me a second to pull myself together.

I get it. He’s exploring his boundaries and testing his limits. And to be honest, I want to encourage that. I want him to feel it all out, find his sense of independence. I try not to react when he does something like drop all his raisins on the floor when I told him not to, because he’s obviously looking for a reaction from me. But the not listening to me is a hard one to swallow. I don’t want to raise one of that kid that does whatever they want and pays no mind to their parents. I don’t want my child to be rude or selfish. I want him to be well behaved and respectful and listen to me when I ask him to do something. I guess this behavior comes with the territory of having a toddler, and I’m just thankful he’s not exploding in screaming fits and throwing himself down on the floor in a tantrum.

Vegas Baby

I am so excited to go to Las Vegas in September. I know it’s still 2 months away, but I’m still super excited. We’re going with Lanie and Jeff, Boss and Megs, Taryn and Nahim and Tina and Jorge. It’s been a while since we’ve been and I’m looking forward to relaxing by the pool during the day, taking a nap whenever I feel like it, and of course doing some gambling. We’re staying at “The Golden Nugget” downtown which has the raddest pool slide! It’s a clear tunnel that shoots you through the shark tank! I know! Dom will be staying with my parents so I will be able to totally relax knowing he’s in good hands.

Limitless Love

This photo makes me happy. It speaks volumes and I can see the truth in it. There are no pretend smiles or forced emotion. I see real love looking back at me. Not the fluffy, “new car smell” kind that we all experience in the beginning. Not the fake kind that only shows its face for someone’s camera or in front of people that you think needs to see it. Not the “sort of” kind that keeps you there because it seems like the right thing to do.

It’s the kind that is there even when the door is shut and it’s just us. It’s the kind that’s there when we’re in bed, both on our iPad’s, half listening to the TV in the background. It’s the kind that’s there, even when we don’t always see eye to eye. Even when he upsets me so much I feel like I’m going to explode or hurts my feelings so much that I want to just crumble. (see post from July 7th.) Even when he gets annoyed or frustrated with me. It’s there even though there are many things that we handle differently. It’s the kind of love that says “hey! We have been through some serious shit and I still want to be with you.”

It’s the kind that can still make you weak in the knees when he looks at you a certain way and make you feel like home when you’re snuggled in his nook. The core of who we are is shown in this photo. Wrapped up in our love, pure passion for each other. That’s what it all comes down to and that’s what we will always come back to. My heart has never felt as full as it does with him and I see that in this photo, clear as day.

Dom loves JLO

You know that Jennifer Lopez song “on the floor” featuring Pitbull? Of course you do, it’s on one hundred times a day and it’s a really, really good jam. Well, Dom loves that song too and on the way home from daycare yesterday, it was playing on the radio. The chorus goes “La la la la la, la la la la laaa laaa you gotta get on the floor” and I hear Dom singing from the backseat “La la la la la, la la la la laaa laaa, get on the phone!”

I die. Official cause of death: the overwhelming cuteness of my kid.

Busy Day, No Nap

This morning Dom asked me for a Dora band aid because he had a “boobie” on his knee….I couldn’t help but laugh and give him a big hug. No matter what kind of mood I’m in or how tired I am, as soon as I see him I am good to go. 2 is such a fun age. He says the funniest things without even realizing how hilarious he is. Well, actually, he does see it because he’ll tell me “Mommy, I’m funny. Funny Domi.” See, that right there is funny, how he’s talking about himself in third person. Please note it’s only funny because he’s two years old. Adults that do that? Creepy and annoying.

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Rob and I took Dom to Zoomars petting zoo on Sunday and he loved it. He cried when we had to leave and that’s just no fun for anyone. We got carrots and other veggies to feed to the bunnies, guinie pigs, sheep, goats, pigs, horses, donkeys and alpacas. Dom was slightly nervous at first and stayed firmly in Uncle Steve’s arms, but once he saw his cousin Jake cruising around, he was ready. My favorite thing is when he crouches down on the ground and puts his hands together on his lap. He usually does this when he’s looking at something and it just melts my heart every time. His favorite thing was going on the train. “Mommy! Choo Choo Train!!!!” he loved it so much he went twice. He’d probably ride it all day if we let him. I kinda fell in love with the alpacas. They have gorgeous long eye lashes and soft fur but those teeth…wow…pretty jacked up.

Later that day we went to Stellagio to celebrate my Dad’s birthday. I can’t believe he’s 67 years old. That just seems unreal to me. He doesn’t look 67 and he doesn’t act 67. When I think of 67 I picture someone much older and …I don’t know…frail? My Dad is so young at heart and I love it. We had an amazing late lunch that was an traditional English meal. Mom outdid herself, especially with the cauliflower and cheese, glazed carrots and butter nut squash. Oh, and let’s not forget her roasted potatoes. Those are always a big hit and usually end up with people fighting for the last one. Dom put 4 away on his own.

We all chipped in and got Dad a ticket to go see Englebert Humperdink in Las Vegas. Mom got orchestra seats so he was speechless. That’s always a good feeling…especially for the man that has everything! Dom had been singing “happy birthday to Bapouuuu” all day so he was excited to show off his skills. When it came time to leave, he was very upset with me and didn’t want to leave. “Stop it Mommy! I stay Yia Yia and Bapou’s house!” His little hands held up infront of him as if he was directing traffic. “Come on baby, it’s time to go home and take a bath!” “No Mommy, stop it” in his angry voice. Then a sad face and begging/pleading “five more minutes Mommy!” Yes, this is my child. He is asking for five more minutes. I have a child old enough to know that he’s pulling at my heart strings. Wow.

He hadn’t taken a nap that day (no nap mommy!) so of course he fell asleep on the way home, which was about 6:30pm. We skipped the bath and I got him into his jammies. It was story reading time where he always drinks his sippy cup of milk and sits on my lap as I rock us back and forth in his bedroom. But tonight, he wanted an apple. “are you ready for your milk baby?” “Mommy, no milk. Apple please.” Mmmkay, that’s kind of random. So while I read to him about the adventures of Dora the Explorer and the birthday wish adventure (for the thousandths time) he crunched away on an apple while listening very closely for his cues..”what do you need when you can’t find you’re way?” “MAP!!!!”

Finally it was time for bed and although he was now wide away, he didn’t put up much of a fight once he laid down. Usually not taking a nap messes up his schedule and he finds it hard to go to sleep. Luckily though, the days activities had worn him out and there wasn't a peep from his room. I love nights like that!

About Me

I found this old questionnaire on my facebook page so I thought I’d post it up here. It’s from March 2009 so I was preggers with my baby cub. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
On my steak, yes

2. Have you ever been drunk?
ha ha ha ha ha!
Oh, you’re serious? Um, yes, yes I have.

3. Do you own a gun?
No but i want to learn how to shoot one and then own one. Don’t eff with me.

4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite?
Never had Kool Aid-I’m more of a Crystal Light girl

5. Do you get nervous before doctor’s appointments?
If it involves a blood test, yes.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
With a little ketchup, mayo and grilled onions...Yummy!

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Love Actually-Lexi and I have a tradition of watching it every year, it’s the best!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
a tall glass of calcium enriched orange juice

9. Can you do push ups?
hmm, I used to be pretty good. Haven’t tried since I got this huge belly

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My Yia-Yia’s cross and ring that I wear every day

11. Favorite hobby?
It was shopping before the economy went to shit...I heart it so much. Now it’s..well, who am I kidding? It’s still shopping, but more window shopping,

12. Do you have A.D.D?
No but I’m with Lexi on the RLS (restless leg syndrome) Man it sucks!

13. What’s your favorite shoe?
flip flops:)

14. Middle name?
Don’t have one!

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
a. how is it humanly possible to be this tired after 7 hours of sleep?
b. is that the baby kicking or is it indigestion c. why is it so cold in here?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water, pink lemonade, tea

17. Current worry?
Getting to a place financially where we’re not struggling

18. Current hate?
When I was 14 my Mom told me hate is a strong word

19. Have been married?
yes

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
Sober! That was a first lol. But still had a good time with Rob, Marcus, Megs, Lanie, Mitch, Traci, Troy and a bunch others playing Celebrity at Jill and Marks. This year = Stellagio!

21. Where would you like to go?
Right now? To bed

Ohhhhh you meant as in travel...hmm...New York (I will get there one day) Italy, London to see my family, Cabo San Lucas, Spain

22. Name 3 people who will complete this:
Not sure....Traci, Jill and Laurie? (come on, don’t make a liar out of me)

23. Do you own slippers:
nope

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Pink

25. Do you like sleeping in Satin sheets?
Never have but I’m more of a cotton girl

26. Can you whistle?
ha ha, I say yes but most say no, I can’t. It’s more of a humming noise with some breathiness behind it

27. Favorite color?
Green

28. Would you be a pirate?
you bet your arrrrrrrrrrse I would

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Dont sing in the shower, more a constant stream of inner dialogue about the things on my plate. Is that weird.

30. Favorite girls name?
Sophia

31. Favorite boys name?
Nicholas. (dang you Dimitri for taking it.) I also love love love Max (thanks again Dimitri!) Others include Giovanni (come on Lex, it’s a great name) Lucas, Nico, Marcus, Luciano (Lucky), and Oliver.

32. What’s in your pocket now?
nothing

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Rob, last night. Man he cracks me up:)

34. Best bed sheets as a child?
Hmm, I don’t think I had kid sheets. Just plain ones. How boring!

35. Worst injury you ever had as a child:
cracked my head open before i could walk (still have the scar.) (Thanks Dimitri.) Oh, and got 3rd degree burns on my left hand when I was about 6. (still have that scar too)

36. Do you love where you live?
omg YES! YES! YES!

37. Are you happy with your life?
Yes:) *clapping*

38. Who is your loudest friend?
Lexi, when her and I get together lolol. And my Mom!

39. How many dogs do you have?
two Shar-peis, Lucifer and Cleo

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I’m going to guess yes :)

41. What is your favorite book?
The Four Agreements

42. What is your favorite candy?
hmm...Cadbury mini eggs

43. Favorite sports team?
Basketball: LA Lakers!
Football: AZ Cardinals!

Silly Putty Recipe

I’m not sure that Dom is quite old enough for silly putty, but I’m dying to try my go at making it. Here are two recipes that I found.

Egg Method
1. Mix a 1/4 cup of flour and 2 eggs.
2. Add about half a cup of Elmer’s glue and mix together with your fingers.
3. After mixing, add a few drops of food coloring and keep mixing it in.
4. Add 3 tablespoons of water, mix, and you’re done!


Liquid Starch Method
1. Mix two parts white glue, one part liquid starch (e.g. Sta-Flor, found in the laundry section).
* If you use Elmer’s school glue instead of regular white, the putty won’t bounce or pick up pictures.

2. Adjust the proportions until it feels like commercial Silly Putty.

Totally Sucks

It totally sucks when someone says something that hurts you deeply and they don’t care enough to make it right. It totally sucks when someone thinks it’s ok and acceptable to be disrespectful to the person they love. It totally sucks when someone has the ability to make their loved one feel like shit and has no hesitation in doing so. It’s totally sucks when you wonder what you did to be treated that way. It totally sucks when the person that is making you cry is the person that, in the beginning, would have hurt anyone that made you cry.

“Close enough to start a war, all that I have is on the floor. God knows what we’re fighting for. All that I say, you always say more.” Adele, Turning Tables.

Happy Birthday Dom!

My baby is two years old! Dom’s birthday was a big success complete with piñata and photo cake. He had so much fun playing with his cousins and friends. He loved running around the playground and going on the swings. When we sang happy birthday to him, he grinned the whole time and blew out his candles like a pro. He got tons of gifts and enjoyed opening each one. He totally got that it was a party for him and for days leading up to it, he would say “Mommy, my party!”

I got creative and instead of cupcake, made cake pops. It was a two day process and a little on the labor intensive side, but totally worth it. They came out great and everyone really enjoyed them. I did white chocolate and dark chocolate wit sprinkles. I wrapped each individual cake pop in a clear cello bag and tied it with blue and green ribbon. Then I wrapped a Styrofoam board with wrapping paper and stuck them in that as the display. It looked pretty legit and I was happy with how they turned out.
I can’t get over how much Dominic has grown up. He says all kinds of new words like “slippery” “that way” “my tummy” “piñata” and of course “stop it Mommy!” He’s talking in 3 and 4 word sentences and of course still loves to sing and dance. It’s awesome to see him continue to learn and expand his vocabulary and to see that rad little personality shine through.

I continue to be in awe when I look at my baby boy. He takes my breath away and makes me feel so proud to be his Mommy. I can’t believe that he’s all mine. He makes every day a good day and I don’t know how I ever lived 34 years without him in my life.

I love being a Mum!

I think I have posted this before, but it still rings true. Especially number 8.
Here are some of the purest perks that come with being a mother.

1. You see everything for the first time again through the child's eyes. Even ants are amazing.

2. A single gummy smile can save even the biggest wreck of a day.

3. When the infant fusses, your mere presence calms him.

4. If you rest your child on your chest, your hearts beat in unison.

5. When he laughs, he shakes, drools, and almost keels over, but it's the most adorable thing you've ever seen. So you make him do it again and again.

6. You think about the future in bigger and brighter ways. You picture him heading off to kindergarten and graduating from high school.

7. You anticipate and even dream of little things like a cutting tooth, a single step, or a two syllable utterance

8. You forget about things you used to care so much about, because they actually don't matter at all.

9. You finally understand what a mother's instinct means.

10. Your will to live intensifies because you don't want to miss a moment of your child's spectacular life.

The best thing that ever happened to me was having Dominic. He brings me so much joy, happiness and love..I only hope that one day he knows how he has changed my life for the better.