Gone But Not Forgotten

Last night, while watching “Glee,” I totally fell apart. There was a part where Sue’s sister died and she spoke at her eulogy.

"When you love someone, like I loved her, they’re a part of you. It’s like you’re attached by this invisible tether and not matter how far away you are, you can always feel them. And now every time I reach for that tether, I know there is no one on the other end and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I wanna hold her. Ten more seconds, is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can’t. And I won’t. And the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now, I’m just gonna miss her. I love you Jeannie. Rest in peace."

Her words rang so true to how I feel about losing my Yia Yia and Bapou. It’s been all these years and it still hurts so bad. I think I try to live most of my life believing they’re still alive. Since they’re from London, it seems like it could be possible that we would go all this time without seeing each other. But there are moments when the reality creeps in that they are no longer alive, and it shakes me to my core. I feel like it just happened yesterday and I’m overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I just have to remember that they are still with me, I just can’t see them. That’s what Mum says. And I believe her. I just wish I could see them again, hug them, tell them how much I love them and what amazing grandparents they were.