Hoping for parole

Today marks one month that I have been at Hoag on bedrest. It's crazy to think about...4 weeks of sitting in the same bed, only getting up to pee and shower. Looking at the same four walls, looking out the window at the same view. Not hearing a bird chirp or feel fresh air on my face. I don't even have any idea what's outside my door. But I'm proud of myself for getting through it without going totally insane. I could never have done it without my family and friends and definitly Rob. He has been amazing and has taken the time every day, twice a day to be here with me. I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner through this journey.

Tomorrow is the big day. My cervix will be re-measured and fingers crossed that I'm still at .9cm. If I am, then I will get to go home and finish my bed rest there. I have been a model patient, doing everything they ask of me, so I'm hoping it's paid off. I really can't think about spending another week in this hospital room. I will keep thinking positive and visualize my cervix being .9cm and getting released to the outside world.

I'm excited about getting measured because I think they might also do an ultrasound so I can see Cubby. I'm dying to see how he's doing in there. On average, he should be about 4lbs and 17" by now. He is so super active all day long, kicking and punching and flipping. The nurse said babies at his stage take 20 min naps throughout the day, but it usually feels like he goes all day long without getting any shut eye.

Sunday was my first Mothers Day:) For a gift, Cubby gave me my first contraction! I was asleep when it happened, but my nurse told me about it and said it's nothing to worry about. I guess he just wanted to say "Hi Mom! I love you!"

It's surreal to celebrate that day as a mother not just as a daughter. Some might say that I'm not a Mom yet because he hasn't been born yet. But the way I look at it is, if I wasn't a mother, I wouldn't have been on bed rest for 5 weeks. I wouldn't have made the sacrifices that I have over the past 7 months. I wouldn't be waddling around and peeing every 20 minutes. So no, maybe Cub hasn't been brought into the world yet, but he's in my world and I'm in his. My life is different because of him, so I consider myself a Mom. I know I have tons to learn and I will make mistakes along the way, but that's all part of the ride and I can't wait for every bump and twist and turn.