Cub Love

I suck, I suck, I suck. I know. I'm sorry for the long silence....again, time had flown by. I'm giving a special shout out to Jasmine for reminding me that I'm a big lagger so, thank you Jas!

Dominic is now 14 weeks old and growing every day. He has morphed from this little tiny blob that needs delicate hands to hold him and does nothing but sleep, eat and poop...to this adorable little boy that is discovering something new every day. He is not longer a fragile piece of glass, he's rough and tough now and has thickened up nicely. Last weigh in at the doc he was 11lbs 12oz and I'm sure he's closer to 13lbs now. He is starting to grasp and hold things in his little hands. When I feed him, he loves to hold the bottle too, running his fingers along the side, feeling all the different ridges and bumps.

He can hold his head up pretty good and loves to sit and stand (with our assistance of course.) He's not much for tummy time, although we get him to do it. He'd much rather stand and bounce like a big boy. He coos and talks when he's in the mood. He can be a real chatterbox sometimes. He makes the sweetest little chirps and mumbles, getting a kick out of hearing his own voice. He has tickle spots and loves to laugh and chuckle out loud. I swear, it's the cutest thing ever.

He loves taking a bath and doesn't ever fuss when he gets into the water. Rob and I tag team him, one washing hair, the other washing him. He just sits back and enjoys it, kicking his little feet in the water. He's almost outgrown his bath tub and pretty soon he will be moving up to the regular bath.
He's outgrown most of his newborn clothes and has advanced onto 3 months old clothing. That is starting to get really fun. All the cute clothes look adorable on him and I have to admit, I love putting on his outfits. My son has amazing style and just knows how to rock out an outfit:)

One of the coolest things is he recognizes Rob and I. He knows we are his Daddy and Mommy and it's the best feeling when he smiles at us. He does that quite often, especially when we tickle him. Did I mention that he's pretty ticklish? His little laugh just kills me.


He's sleeping through the night for the most part. He'll hang out with us in the living room and usually falls asleep in his chair around 8pm. About 10pm he'll wake up, I'll change his diaper, feed him and then put him in his crib. He'll usually sleep through the night and wake up around 6:30 or 7:00am. If he does wake up in the middle of the night, it's usually because he's congested or having a growth spurt. I'll feed him and lay him back down and he goes back to sleep. He's such a good boy, I'm so glad and thankful for that! It definitely helps to get more sleep!


We sing songs every day. I usually sing about whatever we're doing, and sometimes he'll sing along with me. He has his own theme song.....I sing it to him every day and I swear he's starting to recognize it. He loves the TV. I know this is a controversial subject, but I'm not against him watching some boob tube. When I'm home with him and I need to clean the house or make dinner, it keeps him entertained for ten or fifteen minutes. We Tivo'd this show called "Wow Wow Wubsy" and he loves it. We really want to get him the baby Einstein dvd's since he's so interested in the screen.

The newest thing for him is that he's teething. I can hardly believe it! He's drooling up a storm and that was always my worst fear....drool. Never been a fan. Always gave me the heebe jeebes. But this kid drools all day long, all over me, all over him...and it doesn't bother me one bit. I don't even think twice about reaching right up and wiping it away with my hand. He's constantly got his hands in his mouth and is blowing little spit bubbles. These are all classic symptoms of teething but it could go on for months before the first signs of a tooth appears.

His next doctor's appointment is in November and they want to talk about solid foods. Whaaaa? My baby on solids? Wow! We have been putting rice cereal in his formula for the past month because he was having issues with acid reflux. It has seemed to really help and he gobbles it right up. He's developed a chubby chin and pudgy cheeks.....his cuteness is incredible.


One of my favorite things is when he falls asleep in my arms. His tiny little lips curled, his almond shaped eyes closed, his face nuzzled into my neck. The absolute best is when he takes a big sigh and snuggles up even closer and then passes out. I could do that forever. Just hold him and stare down at my perfect little boy. When I wake up in the morning, I've missed him. When I hear that he's awake, I go into his room and peer into his crib. He's usually just hanging out in his crib, chatting with his mobile friends and kicking his feet around. He always has turned himself around and is always facing a different direction from where I put him the night before. I pick him up, cover him with kisses and get ready to start another great day with him.

Gone but not forgotten

Sunday was a hard day. We lost our beloved doggy Sir Lucifer. Losing a pet is such a tough experience. I didn't get to be Luci's Mom for very long, but I loved every second that I did. I miss him a lot and find myself looking outside, even though I know he's not there. I miss hearing his low gruff bark. I miss hearing his nails tapping on the concrete. I miss seeing him laying in the sun. I miss his sweet face looking at me waiting for a back scratch. I loved how he would sleep every night outside of Dominic's room, keeping guard, protecting the Cub. He loved us and we loved him. Rest in peace Luci, we'll never forget you.

my sweet boy

He amazes me every day and I love him so much!!!

Sweet Life

I'm finding it tough to make time to update my blog. It's not that I'm not thinking of you, I am...I think of all the things I want to tell you, how BIG Domi is getting, what's new in my life. But before I know it the day is over and I'm crawling into bed. I hope you don't feel like I'm neglecting you because I'm not. I feel bad. I wish there was a way to transcribe my thoughts straight onto this blog. Maybe one day?

Right now I'm cooking dinner and uploading photos to my picasa website from my birthday. Oh man, I had SUCH an awesome time! It felt great to get out there with all my peeps and dance, drink, chat, be carefree. It was one of those rare nights where you don't really plan anything and it suddenly becomes epic.

The turn out was great, lots of peeps came to celebrate my big day and have some fun. I got to party it up with my best friend, Lanie....it had been forever...I believe the last time was her birthday last October. It was just what I needed though. She's one of those people that you ALWAYS have a good time with!!! For my birthday, Rob got me the most kick ass HD camera and I love it so much. The photos come out crystal clear and it weighs next to nothing! Lanie baked me my favorite cake, red velvet, and it said "happy birthday homeskillet" on it! I will post all the photos soon and will give you the link.


So now I'm 34 years old. How do I feel? I feel like I have grown up a bit. I feel young still, not yet cringing at my age. If you would have asked me at my last birthday where I would be in a year, I would never have guessed I'd be here. In a new relationship, with a 2 month old son. I'd never believe you if you told me certain people wouldn't be in my life anymore. I'd tell you that you were lying if you said that people I thought would be there through everything are no longer...that they jumped ship at the first rumble of change.

But, hey, life is what you make it. Everything in my world is different now, but not in a bad way. I'm deeply in love with a man that makes me happy, swoon, laugh, strive for more. I look at him from across the room and feel smitten. He's sexy and smart and funny. When we're out and about and he reaches for my hand, I feel proud to be his girl. Being in his arms is a place I can let go and exhale. He's got my back and I've got his. Hand in hand, us against the world. I see him with our son and and sometimes can't believe he's ours...we did that, we made this perfect little human being. He came from love and will always be surrounded by love.


I have a gorgeous little baby boy who I fall more and more in love with every day. He makes me feel things I never thought were possible. I see him changing right before my eyes and its amazing. He's already wanting to sit up and stand and does so with our help.

He loves to look around and all the new things in the world. Can you imagine seeing everything for the first time? He looks at me with his bright eyes and it seems he knows I'm his Momma. He fusses in his crib but as soon as I pick him up, he snuggles up on my chest, lets out a little sigh and drifts off to sleep. I hold him in my arms as he sleeps and just stare in amazement. I stroke his punk rock hair and kiss his tiny fingers that are wrapped around mine. I melt when he smiles back at me and think he's little cough is the most adorable thing on the planet. I want to burst with happiness when I see him and his Daddy together, chillin on the couch watching tv, or cuddling in bed in the morning. He knows that's his Daddy and he's so in love with him. It feels like he already hangs on his every word and wants nothing more than to make him proud.

I have the most incredible family. We are all closer than close, we all love to hang out together, we all love and respect each other. To have parents and siblings like mine is something I wish everyone could experience because it's the greatest feeling in the world.

They have always been there for me, through all the different fun and exciting times I have put them through. I've always done my own thing, whats in my heart...never afraid to go against the grain and shake things up. That can be tough to deal with over time, but they have never let me down. They have always made me feel that they are proud of me and my path...they have never asked me to be someone I'm not and that is the greatest gift of all.

I have my homegirl Lanie, who has kept my head above water since we were in the 7th grade and she's still doing it today. Without her I'm not sure I would have made it to 34 in one piece.
She has never wavered on our friendship in 20 plus years, and I know I can always count on her to be there for me, to listen, to advise, to wipe away my tears and give me brand new hope for a new day.
I have no doubt in my mind that we will be friends until the end of time, because we have faced trials and tribulations, ups and downs, good times and bad. And through it all we have stuck by each other. I am a better person because of her.

She has been my saving grace more times than I can count. She always finds a way to put things in perspective and totally gets me like no one else does. We have bizarre conversations that to us seem totally normal but to others leave them scratching their heads. She is my sister, my homeslice, my best friend.

So at 34 years old, I can safely say that life is good. Who knows what tomorrow will bring...hopefully more good stuff. Here's to another year!

Who's that Cub?

It's been some time since I last wrote, and I'm sorry about that. Time seems to escape me these days. By the time I have Domi down for a nap I need to clean his bottles, do some laundry, empty the dishwasher, and then he's up again. I'm working a couple days a week too, and he comes along with me. I wish money grew on trees....it would be pretty awesome to be a full time stay at home Mom. But I know a million Mom's have that same wish. I'm lucky I am able to have the flexible schedule that I have.

Dominic is 7 weeks old today! I can hardly believe it! He has changed in so many ways. Not only is he bigger, taller, chubbier...he's also awake longer during the day, bright eyed and looking around, focusing on objects, cooing, making lots of little noises. He smiled his first non gas smile the other day. Rob was talking to him and he broke out into a big grin...it was the raddest thing I have ever seen:) He's becoming more and more interactive and it's just more and more fun. I have a better understanding of what he needs now. When he cries, I can usually figure out if it's because he has a dirty diaper, he's hungry or he just wants to snuggle. 7 weeks doesn't seem very long, but I have learned so much. I fall in love a little more every day when I see little Cubby's face...he just keeps getting cuter and cuter.

Rob and I have had a couple nights away from the baby, which I am so thankful for. They have been huge in helping me get back to feeling normal and not so overwhelmed. Just one night where I'm able to cut loose a little bit is awesome. Spending that time with Rob as his girl, having a couple of drinks, getting out and hanging with other adults lol. I have to admit, when we left Domi with the babysitter last week for our big birthday dinner, I spent a lot of time talking about him, showing off photos. I'm one of those Moms. I never thought I would be, but I am:)


I've noticed that I do a lot of things with one hand....I usually have Domi in the other hand so it's been a skill I have acquired that I think all Mom's have. He's getting heavier now, and I don't think I'll be able to do the one handed thing too much longer, but I'm enjoying it while I can.

We're just days away from hopefully getting a new car. I have picked one out, and now we just have to go buy it. Next week is the target time, so fingers crossed.

I'm doing much better emotionally. I'm not perfect, but I feel a little more sane, not so up and down, crying at the drop of a hat. There is still some adjustments and improvements to be made, but I'm a work in progress at this point. I'm trying my best and that's all I can do.

I think overall, we're doing really well. Rob and I love our Cubby so much and we are loving every day with him. He's such a good baby and so smart already. He's already starting to hold his head up and when he does "tummy time" with Rob, he pushes his little legs and crawls all the way up, all by himself! He has his two month check up in a couple weeks and it will be interesting to see how much he weighs. He's a little chubby cubby these days and he's filling out nicely.

Life is good, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Sleep relief

It's funny how you can go your whole like without something, and then you have it, even for a little bit, and you don't know how you lived without it. Cubby is growing bigger every day and continues to amaze me. He is much more alert now, and stays awake for longer between feedings. He loves to sit on Robs lap and look at the bookcase behind the couch. He's eating up a storm and has a really chubby little face now. His personality is starting to come out and its just the cutest thing.

He's doing much better with his sleep schedule. As i mentioned before, he was having a tough time sleeping more than 45 mins or so at a time. We put him in his bassinet in our room, but he just wasn't into it. We moved his swing into the room, and the worked for a little while but soon he was back to waking up after just a little bit. After doing some research online and getting some tips on helping him sleep for longer, we decided to move him into his own room so that he could sleep in his crib. It was a tough pill to swallow for me because I was nervous about him being so far away. Yea, ok, so his room is down the hall from ours, but if I can't just open my eyes and look at him, it's far away. But I really felt that this might help him sleep better, and also it would be better for us. I would jump up every time he fussed because I didn't want him to wake Rob up. He has to get up in the morning and go to work, and I wanted him to be able to get the shut eye he needed. My theory was that if he was in his own bed, in his room, then he could fuss a little bit before I picked him up. Cub is a noisy sleeper. He grunts and groans and kicks and makes little noises. Sometimes he'll do this but then get himself back to sleep. If I didn't rush to pick him up, then maybe he would sleep better. Well, so far so good. When he goes to bed, I keep him in his room. When he wakes up to eat or get a diaper change, I stay in his room and do it, the lights off with just the hallway light shining in a little bit. I don't talk to him or coo (which is super hard because he's so cute!) I feed him, rock him for a little bit and then lay him back in his crib, even if he's still awake. I want him to learn to get himself to sleep. As I said, this is all so hard because I want so badly to hold him in my arms until he falls asleep and just hold him like that all night, but I know I wouldn't be doing myself any favors in the long run. So we are trying to stick to this routine, and so far so good. I have the intercom on so I hear when he needs me. But I have stuck to my guns and kept him in his room. He's been a good little cub and is working with me on this. He usually will sleep for about three hours, then wake up, then a couple runs of two hours each. This is much better then up every 45 mins. Sometimes it does take him a while to settle down and not fuss, and sometimes I have to go back in there and soothe him but there is definite progress.

I'm doing better about not feeling so overwhelmed. My Mom and Dad babysat Dominic on Saturday night and it gave Rob and I a chance to get out and spend some much needed time together. I had missed it so much and felt great to reconnect and let loose a little bit. I had been a little nervous to have a drink because I wasn't sure how my body react and how it would go down, but it seems my party muscles won't take too long to bounce back:) I really think having that kind of time together once a month will really help me with this new transition and we're so lucky to have family that is willing to do that for us.

Things are going well, and Rob and I have sort of found our footing. I get up with Dom at night and then Rob usually takes him around 4 or 5am, until he has to go to work. This gives me some much needed sleep and I feel so much better when I wake up. I feel very fortunate to have someone that is willing to help out and not only that but also enjoys it. We're both really enjoying the Cubster and watching him change and grow right before my eyes. I can't believe how much he has changed in just a month, but can't wait to see what's next!

Milestone

My little boo boo is one month old today! I can't believe its been 4 weeks since he was born. On the one hand, it feels like it was just yesterday but on on the other, it feels like it has been months and months. It was so scary and difficult at the beginning. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. Not that I really know now, but I can say it's more comfortable. And predictable. I know that he's going to sleep fine during the day and not want to get any shut eye at night. I know I'm going to be exhausted in the morning because he's been fussy all night and that I should probably sleep when he does, but won't. I know he's going to chug down his formula like someone is trying to take it away from him. I know that he can eat three ounces during the day and four at night. I know that he doesn't like wind or a breeze on him. I know he loves to snuggle. I know he has a sensitive little tummy and has a tough time with passing his formula. I know that he will spit up his bottle at least once a day. I know that he's a good boy and will come with me to run errands, or with Rob and I around town, or out to dinner. It's not so scary as it was the first couple of weeks. My Mom said we would find our own routine, and she was right. And now here we are....a month later and my baby boy is getting bigger and I love him more and more with each day that passes.

low

3 weeks and we're all still alive!

Being a parent is the most difficult thing I have ever done. It's a beautiful and wonderful experience, but in the beginning, it can also make you feel like you're falling apart. It's really hard for people that are non parents to understand the emotional difficulty one goes through at the start. No matter how prepared you think you are, you are not even close. It can get into my head and over take my emotions at times. This is commonly referred to as the "baby blues." I hate it and I wish it would hurry up and pass. But it's here now and I have to learn to deal with it.
It's quite a roller coaster with the hormones doing their thing, and I'm sure it can be confusing or frustrating for someone that doesn't get it. For the most part, I'm fine. But I do have those moments where I suddenly feel overwhelmed and in a way, mourn my old life, when it was just Rob and I. I miss us partying it up on the weekends, going to concerts, being carefree and totally selfish in a way. That sounds bad, but I don't mean it to. I love my new life, it just takes a little getting used to. I've found that spending quality time with Rob and the baby, as a family, helps. Getting out the house together and running errands, or even just some quiet time with Rob at home. I think what's comforting about it is having the feeling of "yes, things are different now, but it's ok. We're ok."

It's a struggle at times, that life is so different and I'm trying to transition into this new one. I know that it will get easier and it's not an ongoing feeling by any means. Being a Mom is a lonely job at first, and that's not something people really ever tell you. Your home alone a lot, just you and the baby. Don't get me wrong, I treasure those moments that I get to spend with my little precious boy and am thankful that for right now, I'm able to. I guess it's somewhat of an identity crisis. I want to remind myself and be reminded that I'm not just a Mom now, but I'm still Gina, and I'm still Rob's girl and we can still have our time too. With so many changes I think I'm just desperate to feel some comfort of what has been a constant. That we love each other. That we have fun together. Luckily, there are lots of things that can help. It's amazing what a little extra love and attention can do. I'm thankful I have a partner that can make me feel better just by putting his arms around me. It's an instant pick me up and works every time.

As the days pass, I'm getting more comfortable with being a Mom and trying to get into some kind of schedule. it's not so terrifying to put him in his car seat and drive with him in the car. I've got the whole diaper changes, feedings and bottle washing thing down pat. That part is a never ending cycle, but it comes with the territory. One thing that is unbelievable is the sleep deprivation and it's taking a little longer to get used to. Dominic hasn't ever slept well at night, even though he sleeps just fine during the day. That's how he was when he was in my belly. Mostly quiet during the day but once evening came he was all kicks and somersaults. I don't think he likes his bassinet, or more specifically, laying down flat. He has been sleeping at night for about 30-45 mins at a time and it was taking its toll on me. If Rob wasn't so awesome I'm sure I would have lost it. He'll take over when I need it and stay up with him at 3am or so until he has to go to work. A couple of nights ago we tried letting Cub sleep in his swing, and lo and behold, he slept for 2 hours at a time. Woo Hoo!

Rob is such a great Dad, just like I knew he would be. He's totally hands on and I couldn't do this without him. We're so lucky to have an awesome kid like Dominic. He's such a good boy. We take him with us when we run errands, car shop, go out to eat, Home Depot runs. He's gone to the office with me a bunch of times and is a trooper. Even though the lack of sleep is still something I'm trying to adjust to, whenever I look at his sweet little face, it makes it all worth it. He's growing right in front of my eyes. He'll be three weeks tomorrow and already he's changing. I love everything about him. His little hands and feet. His cute little stretches when he wakes up from a nap. His sweet little mouth when he makes his kissy faces. He is unbelievable and I still am kind of in shock that he's ours!

Checking in

We have officially made it past the one week mark and I'm please to report that we are all still alive and in good health. It's been a rough 10 days, but I feel like it might just be getting a little easier. Dominic seems to be eating more which in turn means sleeping more. He's doing 2-3 hour sleeping runs instead of 1 hour runs, so that lets me get more shut eye. He's gone from eating 1-2 fl oz per feeding to eating 3-4 fl oz! And he gulps is down like someone is trying to take it away from him. His birth weight was 6lbs 5 oz and then dropped to 5lbs 4 oz (which is normal as birth weight includes a lot of fluid) but I'm happy to report that he's now weighing in at 7lbs 4 oz! He has his first doctors appointment last week and everything looks great. His pediatrician is the same one I went to as a kid, and Dimitri, Alexia and Marcus. Now my nephews go there and so does Cubby!

It's been a definite adjustment to having a little cub around the house, but I think we're getting there. He's such a good boy and adjusting well too. Rob has been an awesome hands on Dad and it's sometimes surreal to watch as he holds Dominic. His little mini me looks up at him with his bog beautiful eyes open wide. I can't believe we're here. HERE! It was quite the journey but we made it one piece. I'm so thankful for the blessings we have and am proud of us for sticking through it.

I'm still recovering from the whole "give birth" thing. I'm still sore and some days very sore. I've been told I will feel better sooner if I just stay off my feet and sleep when the baby sleeps and not try to do chores, but I'm having a tough time with that. I'm doing the laundry, dishes, cleaning when I can, when Dominic is sleeping.....I don't want Rob to have to do it after working hard all day. But I can start to feel that it's hindering my recovery so I may just have to bite the bullet and sit a few sessions out. I don't want to have a messy house, but let's be honest, when you have a newborn under your roof, the house suffers. I think part of it also is that people want to come by and visit us and I feel somewhat uncomfortable if my house is a mess. Why can't I just let that go? I'm going to try really hard to just that and focus on healing and feeling better.


I've experienced a bit of the baby blues here and there. The whole crying for no real apparent reason or feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. It has been brief, but it has reared it's head a little bit. I'm sure it also has to do with lack of sleep and being a first time Mom. I find that I am craving affection and closeness, almost like reassurance that I'm not just a new Mom, but I'm still a woman, I'm still G. It's hard to describe really but I'm sure it will start to fade soon. And lets be honest, who can really feel blue when looking at Dominic? He's so little and beautiful and sweet and melts my heart every time without fail.

We're still shopping for a momma-mobile and I think we're close to zooming in on something. It's crazy how little there is to choose from right now. Every time we find something online that we like and we go down to the dealership to look at it, it's gone. The pickins are slim but we'll get there.

I'm wondering when I will feel back to normal, as much as possible with a new baby of course. I've been getting out a little bit with him...doctors office, my Dad's birthday, the office...but it's still something that isn't totally natural. I mean, it's only been a little over a week, so I guess I have time to fall into that but I'm just wondering when that happens. I am trying hard to not fall off the face of the earth with my family and friends, but having a new Cubby is very time consuming and exhausting so I think it will take time to learn how to balance it all. I hope they will understand that I'm not blowing them off or can't be bothered now that I have a baby. It's all about balance and I'll get there eventually.

Overall, life is great. I have a gorgeous, sexy boyfriend that makes me laugh and is an amazing partner in this whole experience. We have a beautiful baby boy that's healthy and growing right before our very eyes. We have loving and supportive friends and family around us. Yes, life is very different now, but different isn't so bad.

Dominic Marcus McCool

Well, the day finally came for Cubby to make his entrance into this world. Dominic Marcus McCool was born on July 3rd, 2009 at 8:59am. He weighed 6lbs 5 oz and measured in at 18.5 inches.


After the many months of waiting, all the ups and downs, the bed rest and scares we had along the way...he was so worth the wait. He's perfect in every way. His little fingers and toes, his full head of black hair, his sweet little mouth...it's all just incredible and beautiful and still hard to believe.

I went into labor at 1am on Friday, July 3rd and moved pretty quickly from 3 cm dilated to 6 cm. By the time we got to the hospital and I got my epidural (thank God for the drugs!) I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. Luckily there were no complications and everything went better then we could have ever hoped. We had two awesome nurses that showed me how to breathe and push (we had to bail on our Lamaze classes due to me being on bed rest) and their guidance coupled with Robs awesome coaching and encouragement made for a quick delivery.

Don't get me wrong, if it hadn't been for the epidural, I might have just died. The excruciating pain of the contracts caught me off guard. I was ready for painful, even really really painful..but nothing like how it actually went down. Wow. That was some gnarly shit.....wow. The epidural was painful too, and got worse when my water broke in the middle of it. But in the end, it was of course all worth it because our son is beautiful and precious and my pride and joy.

He spent a few days in the NICU due to jaundice, and even though it's a very common thing in newborns, it was still hard for me when I first saw him in the incubator. After a few tears, I stopped blaming myself and turned my attitude around, ready to cheer my son on. He conquered it like a champ and we got to bring him home yesterday. He's had more shots and blood tests then any newborn should have, and I cried for almost all of them, but the important part is that he's doing great now!

I'm still trying to get into some kind of routine with the feedings, which have been tough. Breastfeeding has always been our first choice but it has been much more difficult then I ever imagined. I have had practically every nurse help me and the lactation specialists coach and guide me but I'm still having a hard time with it. I've been supplementing with formula to make sure Dominic is getting all the food he needs, but it's still somewhat disappointing. I kind of feel like I'm letting him down, even though I know it's not my fault. It's exhausting and stressful to keep pushing it when there isn't the result you're hoping for, but I will keep trying my best and see where it goes.

There isn't a whole lot of sleep happening yet but I think that will come in time. He does ok during the day, sleeping for about 2 hours at a time then feeding and diaper change and back to sleeping. But at night time he's a little more fussy and doesn't sleep as much. I'm doing ok so far but definitely feel tired. I'm trying to sleep when he does as that's the number one piece of advice I've been given from people, but it's not always that simple. Once I get him to sleep, I have a small window to get a couple things done like empty the dishwasher or do a load of laundry. Once I do that, I crawl into bed and close my eyes. Once I fall asleep it's not long after that he's back up and ready to eat. All that being said, it's so worth it. To look at his sweet little face when he's in my arms, looking up at me....there is nothing like that feeling.

Rob has been amazing. He's such a natural with Cub and is a pro at diaper changing and rocking him to sleep. It goes without saying that son looks exactly like father and to see them together is something pretty amazing. Dominic knows it's his Daddy and is always very calm in his arms.

Just as I predicted, the hospital let us leave with him, just like that. It's crazy that we are now responsible for him and I have to admit, it's pretty overwhelming at times. I'm trying not to be an overly worried new Mom, but I admit I do check a hundred times to make sure he's breathing. But I think my fears will ease in time, as he gets bigger and isn't so fragile. In the mean time, I will do my best. I have had tons of experience with babies and kids and really didn't think I'd feel this unprepared. But it is SO different when it's your child. There are times that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. But these are the lessons learned, all part of the journey. I just have to trust my instincts and ask for help when I need it.

Dominic is such a sweet little boy in every sense of the word. I can still hardly believe he's here and the waiting is over. I look over at him and just sort of stare. He's so cute and small and his little mouth makes the funniest faces. I love him so much and am so glad he's finally in our lives!

the big three nine

Soooo...here we are.....39 weeks......wow! I can't believe it. I went to the doc today and I'm almost 3 cm dilated! That's more then some women when they are in active labor and at the hospital! Basically, all I'm missing are the contractions. Basically, if I was having contractions, I'd be well on my way to bringing Cub into the world. But no contractions means no labor. I guess it's for the best as my Doc told me that Hoag is packed right now and they had to put some Mom's in an operating room to give birth instead of one of the nice and fancy birthing rooms with the gorgeous view. She said it could happen any minute or not....yea, so there's no real way to tell. Ugh. So the waiting game continues. But the good news is Cubby is doing great. His heartbeat is right where it needs to be and he's just happily taking his time. This is what happens when you tell my son he might come out too early.....

Still waiting

I find myself alternating between crazy excitement about finally meeting my baby and crazy panic about oh my God, I'm finally going to meet my baby and they're going to expect that I take him home and like, keep him alive and stuff. How is it that they let you just leave the hospital with a newborn? There's no test needed? No credentials required? It's harder to take a book out of the library then it is to take home a human life.

All joking aside, I'm super excited for Cub to get here. I guess he's going to be a July baby after all! We're in the home stretch now and the anticipation is killing me. I know that it's obviously going to completely change our lives, but I feel confident that Rob and I are going to know what to do. I think we were destined for this and the Big Guy upstairs won't steer us wrong. I think one of the things, maybe the only thing, I'm nervous about is the lack of sleep. Not that I sleep all that much right now. I'm still getting up every hour to pee so that translates into not much shut eye. I suppose I'm just nervous that I'm going to be running on empty and that I'll be cranky and it interfer with being a good Mom to Cub and a good girlfriend to Rob. I guess it will be all about adjusting and making the most of the situation at hand. It will take some getting used to, but that's just part of the journey.

I'm feeling pretty good still. There are definitley moments where my body hurts, the pains and aches are almost too much and I just want to have the baby and be done with it. One of the toughest things has been Restless Leg Syndrome. It kicks in when I'm trying to get to sleep and it keeps me up for hours and hours. It's not so much painful, but more annoying and uncomfortable. I lie awake for hours at a time, twitching and jerking my legs around wishing it would just go away. I'm hoping this will stop once the baby comes, because it would really suck to be stuck with it forever.

Even with RLS, heartburn, sches and pains...I'm still feeling pretty good and am just waiting it out. I'm hoping it will happen soon because with all the precautions I had to take to make sure I wouldn't go into early labor, it would be totally ironic for me to go past my due date. And I'm just not in the mood to be ironic. I can't wait to meet little Cubby and start the new chapter in our life.

Let's catch up

It's so weird when someone asks me now when I'm due and I say "next week!!!" Ahh! I can't believe I'm due next week. How did this happen? Where did the time go? This past month has dragged by so slowly, but I still can't believe that a). I haven't had the baby yet and b). I'm 11 days away from my due date! I'm so ready but at the same time, I' m not. I'm all over the place!

I've been feeling pretty good for the most part. Evenings are tougher, my body is much more sore and worn out. By 8pm it can be uncomfortable to even walk because it feels like my uterus is just going to fall out. I feel my body stretching and getting ready for the big day. Heartburn is a constant these days, and who doesn't love a little heartburn in their life? I went to the Dr. last Thursday and I had gained 3lbs in one week! Wow! In my defense though, the week before I had lost 2lbs. I'm at a total gain so far of 26 lbs and I'm happy Cub is getting plumper.

I'm so curious to know how much he weighs. Rob thinks we're going to have an 8 or 9 pounder! Whaaaa?!!!! I've spent all this time thinking my baby was going to weigh 4lbs, and now he's almost full term, what's his number going to be? 6lbs? 7? Could Rob be right? Could he be a big baby? I just want him to be healthy and happy and scream his ass off when he comes out. I think he'll have a ton of black hair and be kind of weird looking. Let's be honest people, newborns are very rarely cute. They have pointy heads and crusty eyes and are all red and wrinkly. Don't get me wrong, I'm know I will fall in love hard as soon as I see my son..that's pretty much a done deal. But I'm going to say what others are too afraid to say..newborns are kind of squishy looking...a little scary and weird looking. But the good news is they grow out of that stage pretty fast:)

We finally got a bassinet! Yay! We were originally going to go with one we loved from Target costing $150, but had a hard time tracking it down in stock. After thinking about it, it made more sense to buy a used one in very good condition because he'll only be in it for a few months. We found an awesome one that has five different height adjustments, it vibrates, it plays music, it has storage underneath for diapers and blankets etc and it even converts into a co-sleeper! It is in perfect condition and we picked it up for $80! Thank you Craigslist!!!

Cub's room is taking more shape. Rob hung the curtains this weekend and put together the diaper genie. The crib has finally been delivered to the office, so I'm excited to pick that up and see it put together. The thing I am looking forward to the most right now is putting all the bedding on (thanks Auntie Lexi!!!) and seeing it all done. We have some shelves to put and some artwork, and that will all be done once we figure out the best side of the room for the crib. The baby has so many clothes, it's insane! I don't think I will have to do any laundry for him for the first 3 months, even with 6 costume changes a day lol.

Romeo finally got his feeding tube out:) He spent another two night at the vet so they could "turbo feed" him, take the tube out and get him to eat on his own. I'm SO happy to have him home, but the only problem is, he's still not eating his dry food. We feed him some of the wet food through a syringe (into his mouth) every day but he's also supposed to be eating his dry food on his own. It's not happening so far and I wish he could just tell me why. I know he's hungry. He chowed down on some of our El Pollo Loco chicken, and he gobbled up some lunch meat, but won't touch the dry food. I'm hoping it's just because he's not into that particular brand (he's never been fussy before, but who knows) so I'm going to go buy his regular Iams brand today and hopefully he'll take a nibble. The scar when his tube was is so gnarly....it looks like there is a chunk of his neck missing....oy vey! But once his fur grows back in that area, it will look better.

With Cubs room making great headway our next big task is buying a new car, the Momma-mobile....otherwise known as "CubbyOne." My silver bullet (1999 Nissan Altima) has served me very well over the past nine years, but it's time to let her go and gets something more practical and safe for our precious cargo. I have a good idea of what I like, and now it's just about finding something that works within our budget but also appeals to my superficial side. Yes, I admit it...I want a hot looking ride. I know sports car convertible is out of the question now, but who says an SUV can't be sexy? I want to look at my car and think "prrrrr..!" I feel confident it's out there somewhere. We have been looking for a little while, and I have test driven some really great options. Tonight we continue our quest for the perfect ride for Cubby.

So yea, that's my update, lots of info and fun stuff. I'm going back to the Dr on Thursday so we'll see where we're at. Overall, feeling good and excited to go into labor. I have no idea what to expect but I'm not scared. I have Rob by my side and I know that with him, we can accomplish anything. I feel safe and strong and know that it's going to be a beautiful experience.