Back to the (diet) Drawing Board

So yesterday was a big day for me. I surrendered to my most evil battle and threw my hands in the air. I dragged my ass back to weight watchers and started all over again. I can’t even begin to explain the frustration that I feel, being back here. But I just couldn’t take it any longer. I’m completely miserable with how I look and feel and there is nothing that is going to happen without me making it happen. I had to take back control and just accept that things went horribly wrong over the past 6 months or so. I still have no answers as to why I gained 26 lbs out of nowhere, but I am determined to get rid of it.

Lucky for me, I have the best BFF in the whole world. Lanie met her WW goal 2 years ago and has been on maintenance ever since. I told her I was thinking about going back, but I needed a push. So she pushed me. She went with me and promised she’s go with me every week to my weigh in and meeting, How amazing is she?

I was nervous as hell when I got there. I slowly stepped on the scale and held my breath. It was bad. The first emotion I felt was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I was back. Again. Embarrassed that I gained back pretty much all of the weight I lost before. And also ashamed. I don’t know why this whole thing is such a reoccurring nightmare for me, but hopefully the cycle will end soon. The important thing is I went back to give it another go.

The first 2 weeks are always the hardest. Lanie and I always describe it as being in detox, and it’s so true. Your body goes through withdrawls from eating fast food every day. It craves the ice cream and fatty foods you had been enjoying up until that moment. Staying on track seems like an impossible task. It’s definitely one day at a time. My goal right now is to lose 26lbs. That’s how much I gained back and it’s time to say goodbye. I hope that I can stay focused and kick some serious ass.