Speak Out

Isn't it funny how hard it is for some of us to just say what's on our mind? You may have no problem telling your over opinionated friends she needs to chill out. It might be no sweat to tell that pushy teacher to ease up on your kid. And it's definitely no problem to tell some mouthy POS to you-know-what when they are being mean, rude or offending you. But why is it so hard when it's someone that you're closest with?

Fear. It's fear that you're going to hurt the person you're talking to. Fear of the person getting angry. Fear of causing a fight when you'd rather just keep the peace. Why is it so difficult to just open your mouth and speak the truth? Why are truth and fear directly connected to each other?

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I found that the time I was the most open about my feelings with my significant other was when I had no fear. I wasn't worried that they would get mad, hurt or leave. I didn't mind rocking the boat because I wasn't afraid of it capsizing. But along with the freedom of my mouth being filter free, came the feeling that something was missing. The love was there, just not in the form that it should be.

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For me, when it's real love, there is always some fear attached to it. It sounds kind of sad when I see these words on paper. It's not meant to be. I just need to find a balance that will allow the best of both worlds.