We're Still Standing

Lanie reminded me of a moment 2 ½ years ago when we were standing in the parking lot of our jazzercise class. Things were hectic to say the least, people were freaking out about Rob and I being together, most of my friends had deserted me, he was living in Arizona, we were both going through a divorce..it was a rough, rough time. Oh, did I mention that I was pregnant and my hormones were out of control?
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I remember feeling total despair, like things were never going to come together. There were days that I felt like I might not make it. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it was true. My hormones had taken over my mind and my emotions and turned me into a crumbling mess. My heart literally hurt. I missed Rob so much and needed him so badly during that time, but it just wasn't possible because his job was in AZ. It felt like I was never going to get through the darkness and have a normal life. A normal existence. The idea that Rob and I could be together for real and be in a relationship for real and not be living in different states 400 miles apart…there were times that I felt we’d never get there.
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And now here we are. We did it. We live together. In the same house. We sleep in the same bed. I get to see his handsome face every single day. We have a beautiful son together. We are living a normal life and we didn’t fall apart. We walked through the fire and came out the other side. Did we suffer some of the consequenses of being together? Yes, we did. I wish I could say it didn't hurt or make an impact on my life, but that would be a lie. It was an extremly difficult time to get through emotionally and something that still plays in mind even today.
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But we did make it out alive. And the thing we fought so hard for, us, is still together. The love is still strong. There have been uphill battles and times of hurt and frustration. There have been pure joyful moments and obscene happiness. And that’s what this life is all about, right? It may not be perfect every day. There may in fact be days when you want to just hide from it all. But there is never a moment that I wish it never happened. There is never a moment that I don’t look at what we’ve been through and feel proud. And kind of stunned that we got through it. Without it breaking us. That says something. The foundation of what brought us together is still there and still real.
.I love Rob. And he loves me. We’re not perfect. Not by any means. But we are happy. He won my heart and still holds it in his hands. Plus, he makes me laugh and there is nothing sexier than that.